I’m still in touch with my first ever partner after almost 8 years after the breakup. I still very much love them, but not romantically though, they’re a person i wouldn’t want to miss in life!

BUT even with them we only started being friends about 2 years after the breakup. I can say for myself my dumb ass wouldn’t be able to process that emotionally at an earlier point.

My last partner blocked me everywhere, but considering the circumstances i can’t blame them. We were both bringing out the worst in each other and the shit life threw at us was just too much to handle - depression, cancer diagnosis (i really hope they’re doing well) & financial troubles.

so it depends on the case.

Nope, they was abusive and controlling to me. I’m glad I did dump them via texts

I have been for quite a few of them. We’ve fallen out of contact now. I think it’s a good thing to be. But if either of you are heart broken, you need to cut off contact for a while to really get over them before you can be friends.

ex of mine and I are, dated a bunch in college and broke up amicably. she gave a toast at my wedding lol

I wasn’t gonna comment but for sake of diversity I feel you deserve at least one good one. I’m actually quite close with one of my exes from 13 years ago. We dated when I was graduating highschool he broke up with me (very respectfully. He basically just told me I deserved someone who liked me as much as I like them, and he was right).

Anyway, he and I didn’t really hang out much or talk much for a while but we were in the same community and would see each other at metal shows all the time and weren’t unfriendly but would just kind of live our own lives. Once my ego healed a bit from being dumped we did hook up a couple times. Then some time passed and I met my partner of now over a decade. Anyway, me and the ex still chat, he’s met my partner and they get along very well. My ex is a genuinely kind and funny guy and I would be a reference for him any day and I consider him more my friend than my ex at this point.

I really do think time apart is important because they need to become not a constant fixture in your life before you can repair the relationship to “friend” level.

not really anymore, but only for usually drifting apart from old friends reasons. it is hard (for me) to maintain friendships when the other party lives thousands of kilometers away, and everyone is too poor and busy to travel.

Depends.

Some I cultivated afterwards - gave some space, and later pitched a “I don’t want to get back together but I miss hanging out. Lemme buy coffee” to usually good effect. If you’re compatible as friends still, it could be a very strong friendship. But you broke up for a reason, so keep that in mind.

But sometimes you’re really incompatible and a simple friendship isn’t even healthy for you two. That’s okay too.

You both need a time off, stop or make interactions really “rational and controlled”. It takes time to shift to different dynamic between you two.

Once you both (or at least one of you) get new partners, things will be more promising for a genuine friendship.

Otherwise, lingering feelings or “emotionally weak” days seriously risk ruining the relationship and make things permanently awkward.

source: my own experience. I am best friends with my ex. And lived the process myself.

I have some exes that I wanted to and could be friends with (one I was for several years). But it just doesn’t fly with a new domestic partnership. I can tell my current girlfriend that I’m going to see female friends, but going out with friends who I’ve previously had sexual relations with is stretching it. I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to do that and so I won’t do it to her.

It makes me a bit sad, but I have effectively ended those friendships by no longer agreeing to seeing them.

I also have exes that I wouldn’t wish on my biggest enemy and I avoid them like the plague.

I like to say “relationships don’t end, they change.” I’m friendly with a lot of my exes for the same reasons I was into them in the first place.

For others, the relationship changed into the kind without speaking or acknowledgement. Still pretty sure we’d be civil, if not friendly, if we got stuck in the same elevator. Probably because we all have abandonment issues and Machiavellian tendencies.

They generally become acquaintances. There’s no hostility, but also way less of a reason to catch up and hang out.

I’m not, but a friend is. With a couple, actually. He’d inevitably wind up sleeping with them now and again, and at this point one has just become a fuck buddy with no real relationship attached. But really, it’s your own dynamics that matter here, and that’s between you and that person. So how anything winds up going, well, the one’s most qualified to make best guesses are you and them.

Some yes, some no. For those I do stay friends with, I still take a break and go low/no contact with them for a while before resuming friendship. I need it to draw a line, so to speak, between the old relationship and friendship.

I’ve also had guys want to “remain friends” while they really meant hookup buddy. A break helps suss out those who are disingenuous with their stated intentions.

Ended a 16 year relationship a couple of months ago. No hard feelings, still friends. It’s easier that way :)

No, but I wouldn’t be opposed with any of them but one. That one can go fuck herself.