Raw egg is relatively safe, it’s the flour that’s the main risk

Well at least it’s beyond the environment

Faaaaack off!

Oi my humor’s too dry, init? Take this bo’l’o’wa’a up the ass cunt!

British wit should drink more water. Don’t they know it’s hot out?

Twist it!

Outside the US yankee==american. Inside the US yankee==north-eastern american. Iced tea is popular in the American South, where this guy is probably from

My family used to raise chickens when I was a kid. The chickens were free-range (only house for like a mile), but they had a coop to eat and nest in, which we shut every night. When getting new chickens to add to the flock (neighbor has too many, etc), we’d keep them in a “chicken tractor” for a few weeks (basically a small, mobile chicken coop). I guess that gave everyone time to get used to each other’s smells or something, because the few times we didn’t do that the new chickens would get pecked in the head by the locals, and once the locals realize that the new ones taste like blood it’s pretty much over for the new chickens.

Phrasing

Saddest ski hill you’ve ever seen so far. Just imagine this same hill in 10 years

This guy takes more oil than my car

I’d say it’s closer to a dumpling

Help girlfrend is poinignant?

What phone is made in the US anyway?

I would rather not fuck this

Looks like a Husqvarna Vitpilen

Rubber ducks are definitely a jeep thing, keep an eye out and look at the dashboard of jeeps you see, odds are it won’t be long until you see some ducks. It’s the same thing with bikers and gremlin bells. But this example is extreme enough to almost definitely be satire.

Might as well add regular “shutdown” as an “option” too

Kinda like your mom last night

It’s like bowling, if you hit one pedestrian at just the right angle you can knock them into the other