• kat_angstrom@lemmy.worldEnglish
    62·
    3 months ago

    But then when the bogs get flooded for harvest, the wolf spiders have nowhere to go that’s not water, so the people who are harvesting cranberries are like tall islands of refuge, so they swarm to the humans for safety, so the humans are covered in friendly happy relieved wolf spiders <3

    • webghost0101@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      511·
      3 months ago

      No, they hide instead.

      In small corners, like a small hole in the stonewall next to your wall attached reading lamp.

      So then when you’re finally asleep you hear like this scratch noise. So you turn on your lamp and you see that it’s little bit of wall dust coming off it.

      And at first you’re like huh so you look a little closer and you see that it’s coming from that little hole in the wall.

      AND THEN SOME LEGS JUMP OUT OF THERE.

      Before you know it you stand at the furthest other corner of the room.

      A full spider has pulled itself from the hole, and it stares at you, menacingly.

      You can barely breathe, but deep down you know that the creature can’t help it. It is not a monster, and neither are you.

      You were taught the most sensible thing is to put such insects outside. So you sneak downstairs trying to find a glass and piece of paper to capture it in.

      So then you, a brave knight, armed with a glass faces the beast.

      And as you hold your arm in the vicinity of its claws. You realize:

      The size of this beast is far bigger than the diameter of the opening of this glass.

      You run to the hallway you are truly losing it. But then you hear another sound.

      Your dad appears from nowhere, and he asks what are my troubles.

      SO I SHOW MY HERO TO THE BEAST

      AND HE FUCKING LEGS IT. EVEN MORE A COWARD THAN YOU. Goes to bed and leaves you to it remarking its large size.

      That is what wolfspiders do. They don’t just destroy your confidence, they show that you came from nothing and will remain it till the day you become food.

      That is what wolfspiders do.

      Also they can jump 2m straight, thankgod i only found out as it jumped from glass 2# into the darkness of the garden as i you realize they could have jumped into your face at any point of time back in the room. You were never safe.

      That is what Wolfspiders do.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

      • figjam@midwest.socialEnglish
        61·
        3 months ago

        I worked at a summer camp with a wolf spider as roommate in my cabin. I told him she could stay as long as she didn’t bite the kids. All other counselors complained about mice in their cabins but were surprised I didn’t have any.

        Fast forward to the last week of camp. Stupid loudmouth kid sees the spider and hits it with a broom. Kids all scream and I run back inside. Asshole kid is trying to squish her and I stop him and get her outside. I scold the kid and he is unrepentant. Last morning in camp he wakes up with a swolen lip that is rapidly taking over his face. He isn’t having an allergic reaction but his whole face looks like sloth from the goonies. As I put him on the bus to go home he is crying because his mom won’t recognize him. “Well, maybe next time leave the spider alone”

      • flora_explora@beehaw.orgEnglish
        2·
        3 months ago

        What? Wolfspiders are pretty shy. When I try to take pictures of them from close up they always run away :( Also, they are not that big. Wiki says the largest are 35 mm in body size (1.38 in). And also they are no insects!!

        • webghost0101@sopuli.xyzEnglish
          1·
          3 months ago

          You are technically correct. Many critters know as insects are their own group.

          However in reality it has much more to do with human classification then actual nature. Same with what we call “fruit” so i al not sure what people want me to use to refer to the entire class of creepy crawlers.

          Termites where for a while considered a different class but now there seen as a subclass of cockroaches and those are insects. Springtails where long considered insects but now they are their own class.

          35mm without the legs is freaking huge. And as an arachnophobe you can’t tell me the legs don’t count towards its intimidation.

    • doingthestuff@lemmy.worldEnglish
      11·
      3 months ago

      I came here to make sure someone had said this. I usually have a wolf spiderbro in my bathroom. I talked to one this morning in fact, he was a new, smaller one though. They’re great. Eat bugs, no webs. Not significantly dangerous at all.

      • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
        20·
        3 months ago

        Wolf spiders don’t have web money, mostly because orb-weaver spiders control the market through abusive speculative tactics and they’ve been doing that since the cretaceous!

  • pigup@lemmy.worldEnglish
    26·
    3 months ago

    And then, because cranberries are horrible to eat, they make products from them and spike them with ungodly amounts of sugar. Then they lobby the FDA to make exceptions for them to not report “added sugars” since cranberry products are “basically the same as blueberries, bro”

    I know too much about them and their destructive practices, they’re assholes. Have a nice day.

    • multifariace@lemmy.worldEnglish
      92·
      3 months ago

      Why is there so much hate on bitter. Bitter is superior to sweet in every way. The best pastries are the ones that use cranberries instead of blueberries. Sugar is even added to blueberries and strawberries as if that made them more desirable. The best pastries are minimalist with sugar. Orange-cranberry bread is one of the best combinations.

    • BigBrainBrett2517@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      3 months ago

      In a giant bog? Or somewhere more industrial? Sayyyy some sort of commercial building or warehouse? I would also like to know where this place is, if you knew.

      • _stranger_@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        3 months ago

        I think I know of what you speak. It’s in the center of the metropolitan area, the middle of the city, down a ways from uptown you might say. Huge place. Some kind of manufacturing facility.