CBS News, hosting vice presidential candidates JD Vance and Tim Walz for the general election campaign’s third debate next week, says it will be up to the politicians — not the moderators — to check the facts of their opponents.
So what the fuck do we need CBS for again?
Colbert?
Hey, let’s get Stephen to do the live fact-checking!
Have two mods. Late Night Steven and Colbert Report Steven.
Fair and Unbalanced
Shut up and take my money
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He did a live show after the Trump-Harris debate. Perhaps he’ll do another!
Yep, he’s planning on doing a live show right after the VP debate. He announced it on a recent episode.
Oh, how splendid!
If CBS suddenly disappeared, Colbert could go anywhere he wants I bet.
No bet. Colbert would be juuuuust fine.
Heaven forbid journalists do… you know, their jobs?
We Report, You Decide
We report what we want you to decide
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Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence. Walz is an adorable teddy bear with claws.
It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen, and we’ll all laugh about how the old guy from Minnesota made the dude wearing eyeliner get scared of giving trans school kids free lunches.
Edit: I can’t wait!
He’s ok with pushing outright lies, and it’s hard to keep up with all the right wing lies that are floating around. I hope Walz just starts calling them the liars they are instead of avoiding ‘name calling’.
Vance isn’t much of a public speaker, and, up against a debate opponent like Walz (who is a great public speaker), Vance is pretty much fucked. He won’t have much of a defense but to pivot when confronted, and Walz is both clever and persistent. He’s also extremely charming, which Vance extremely isn’t, lol.
You’re making me look forward to it. Kinda. Let’s say I’m looking forward to the instant replays by the Daily Show.
Well, it’ll probably be more policy-focused than anything with Trump, which is always just a clown show because Trump only knows how to be a clown. Vance will, at least, try to debate Walz, but it will quickly just be a timed trading of canned campaign jabs. How each plays it will be interesting to see, and - personally - I think it will be fascinating for 3 reasons:
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again, Vance’s relative terribleness vs Walz’s very goodness will be awesome to watch. Walz will kick Vance’s ass easily
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more than that, this debate will be far more substantive than the last debate, which was, basically, Kamala baiting Trump into crazy-shouting one crazy lie after another while Kamala just laughed and laughed.
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Tim Walz is, quite possibly, the most lovable guy to ever exist. JD Vance is, quite possibly, a new form of venerial disease.
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Vance is like a Dollar Store version of Trump. He looks like the same product, he tells the same lies, but the parts aren’t all there. He’s a grifter but he’s not in the same league as The Donald, he even looks like he’s in pain when he lies.
The fucked up part is that, since you can’t get cheaper than Trump, the knockoff is actually more expensive. Worse, Vance is also (somehow), dumber, poorer, less-popular, and more insecure. He’s also - unbelievably- worse with interactions with the public and with public speaking.
And we’re about to find out how bad he is at debate against a real politician.
Vance at least looks like an actual human, the Toupee’s human disguise was created by a sentient pile of excrement that only once glanced at a human from a distance.
Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence.
But what is Vance?
He only isn’t things. The absence of morals and personality. Pure lack.
Senator Vance (void)
But what is Vance?
Cold pee
It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen
When you wrestle the pig, you both get muddy but only the pig likes it.
They both look pretty happy to me.
Helps when the pig is both extremely popular already, and the pig’s opponent is… lol… well, JD Vance lmao
Seriously, the guy lost a debate against the opening staff at a donut shop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
CBS not doing their job.
The mainstream medias job is to safeguard corporate America; not the population.
Fucking cowards. We saw how quickly fascists crumble when you fact check them. Why won’t CBS want to do that?
Because they want to help the fascist.
Something about ten dudes at a diner table with an eleventh who is a nazi.
Bunch of weak ass bullshit.
Oh sure, tell the guy who basically said “We’ll make up whatever facts we need to to get our point across!” when the whole pet eating debacle was debunked. What could go wrong!?
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I’m glad Amanda is for Democracy… But why is she (apparently) for embedding a landscape video inside her portrait video that doesn’t fit on my screen, so now it’s scaled down to 1/9th my TV’s viewable area?
So Walz will try to find the lies and Vance will claim everything is a lie since they can’t stop him?
Yeah, this system makes no sense. How are they supposed to fact check each other?
“That’s a lie.” “Not uh.”
You see, one party lies with every breath. So they are not supposed to fact check “each other”…
Awww the moderator’s hurt poor Donnie’s fee fees during the last debate.
Walz should just bring a fucking airhorn
Waltz: Vance I heard you fuck couches for fun.
Vance: NO I DON’T
Waltz: That’s not proof. If you’re gonna fact check me you gotta provide proof! Clearly you fucked couches!
Walz would be way more subtle than that.
hey. So glad you got off the damn couch.
And
Oh. Meant to ask you. How was the tour of Ashley Furniture? Find any attractive couches?
Edit:
didja get any good recipes from RFK?
Would they really have the time to fact-check the gish-gallop Vance will ejaculate on them? That’s just not even feasible to get through the more egregious lies. He already said he just makes shit up. This will be the largest public face-time he will ever have (hopefully) and it all but guarantees he will shamelessly dial the horseshit up, if not just for sound bites.
And yeah, I decided to use that word.
Ya this is a dumb move by CBS because it compromises the legitimacy of the debate… But I know Tim Walz is going to wipe the floor with this couch fucker.
