Okay. Back when I liked women, I would ask the chicks I had sex with things like “What do you like?” and “What do you want me to do?” and I would be either outright ignored, or met with an indignant or even angry “I DON’T KNOW?!?!” How often does that have to happen before you just stop asking?
About half the women I’ve had sex with were, at the moment we met, some combination of never had sex before, never masturbated before, never had an orgasm before. So, I’m expected to sexually pleasure a woman who doesn’t even know what being aroused feels like and hasn’t been curious enough to google it in her spare time? Yet she still answers “yes” to “ya wanna do it?” And she’s expecting this to be good for her? Like, if I just laid on my back like a dead fish and let a woman fuck me, it would be a pretty painful experience because she’d inevitably get the angle wrong and bend my dick in an uncomfortable/painful direction. Both chicks who tried to fuck me in my sleep did exactly that. I imagine that’s what “let him fuck me” sex is like for women, and yet I’ve had several women insist on having that kind of sex, because she won’t actively participate and she won’t tell me what she wants. “Do you like oral?” “No, because if you touch it you’re supposed to wash your hands and you’re gonna put your mouth on it?! Nuh-uh.” Okay, so for reasons you won’t elaborate on, you have agreed to be a 140 pound fleshlight? What are we doing here, Tiffany? Starts making you suspicious as to why she’s doing this. Are we pretending to like everything I like hoping I’ll propose before you get sick of lying, or are we a meek little pushover who’d consent to being sawn in half rather than “disappointing” someone?
Then there were the women who would initiate sex with me, the ones who’d text me “whatcha doing tonite?” These chicks usually owned sex toys, and were often the ones who started the “here are my do’s and don’t’s, my turn ons and turn offs” conversation. They’d tell me what they wanted, what they were in the mood for this time, greet me at the door with a thing they wanted to try out, etc. Most of these were short term, funnily enough. The couple that went long-term? I couldn’t rely on learning what she likes and then just doing that, because she’ll be really into one position for a few months, then she’ll get a yen for oral, then she’ll read something in a romance novel and she’ll have something she wants to try, all woven in with stuff I want to do, then she takes a job in Portland and I never see her again.
I stopped liking women after the third “pretending to like everything I like until she gets sick of lying” in a row. There will not be a fourth.
I know you’re Cptn. Aggravated and certainly act that way.
But.
To everyone reading along.
There is a difference in asking for a fuckbuddy and asking for a long term relationship. It is OK to ask for one or the other. It’s OK to change your goals later.
Learning to communicate your desires (and acknowledging you were bad at it earlier) is more difficult than one might think, but can be learned.
Learning to communicate what steps you expect to happen when - even harder.
Biological compatibility is a thing. Learning what your type of woman or man looks like also takes time. Maybe discovering you like one sex better than the other. Compatibility is also unreliable if your fucking hormones decide to throw you around every month. It’s even worse if you take additional hormones for birth control.
I was on my seventh partner when they were like “you know I like to be kissed and cuddled right now. But next week I expect to be super horny and I love [censored sentence], be prepared…” I was like: Communicating like that is an option? You are allowed to do that? Finding your own style and communication in a realtionship is important. I wasn’t a good communicator in that way and my relationships were more mid than they could have been as a result.
Okay. Back when I liked women, I would ask the chicks I had sex with things like “What do you like?” and “What do you want me to do?” and I would be either outright ignored, or met with an indignant or even angry “I DON’T KNOW?!?!” How often does that have to happen before you just stop asking?
About half the women I’ve had sex with were, at the moment we met, some combination of never had sex before, never masturbated before, never had an orgasm before. So, I’m expected to sexually pleasure a woman who doesn’t even know what being aroused feels like and hasn’t been curious enough to google it in her spare time? Yet she still answers “yes” to “ya wanna do it?” And she’s expecting this to be good for her? Like, if I just laid on my back like a dead fish and let a woman fuck me, it would be a pretty painful experience because she’d inevitably get the angle wrong and bend my dick in an uncomfortable/painful direction. Both chicks who tried to fuck me in my sleep did exactly that. I imagine that’s what “let him fuck me” sex is like for women, and yet I’ve had several women insist on having that kind of sex, because she won’t actively participate and she won’t tell me what she wants. “Do you like oral?” “No, because if you touch it you’re supposed to wash your hands and you’re gonna put your mouth on it?! Nuh-uh.” Okay, so for reasons you won’t elaborate on, you have agreed to be a 140 pound fleshlight? What are we doing here, Tiffany? Starts making you suspicious as to why she’s doing this. Are we pretending to like everything I like hoping I’ll propose before you get sick of lying, or are we a meek little pushover who’d consent to being sawn in half rather than “disappointing” someone?
Then there were the women who would initiate sex with me, the ones who’d text me “whatcha doing tonite?” These chicks usually owned sex toys, and were often the ones who started the “here are my do’s and don’t’s, my turn ons and turn offs” conversation. They’d tell me what they wanted, what they were in the mood for this time, greet me at the door with a thing they wanted to try out, etc. Most of these were short term, funnily enough. The couple that went long-term? I couldn’t rely on learning what she likes and then just doing that, because she’ll be really into one position for a few months, then she’ll get a yen for oral, then she’ll read something in a romance novel and she’ll have something she wants to try, all woven in with stuff I want to do, then she takes a job in Portland and I never see her again.
I stopped liking women after the third “pretending to like everything I like until she gets sick of lying” in a row. There will not be a fourth.
I know you’re Cptn. Aggravated and certainly act that way. But.
To everyone reading along. There is a difference in asking for a fuckbuddy and asking for a long term relationship. It is OK to ask for one or the other. It’s OK to change your goals later.
Learning to communicate your desires (and acknowledging you were bad at it earlier) is more difficult than one might think, but can be learned.
Learning to communicate what steps you expect to happen when - even harder.
Biological compatibility is a thing. Learning what your type of woman or man looks like also takes time. Maybe discovering you like one sex better than the other. Compatibility is also unreliable if your fucking hormones decide to throw you around every month. It’s even worse if you take additional hormones for birth control.
I was on my seventh partner when they were like “you know I like to be kissed and cuddled right now. But next week I expect to be super horny and I love [censored sentence], be prepared…” I was like: Communicating like that is an option? You are allowed to do that? Finding your own style and communication in a realtionship is important. I wasn’t a good communicator in that way and my relationships were more mid than they could have been as a result.