Raisins are nothing more than grape-mummies.

Human cremains are too acidic to make good growing soil.

Mulch the body, bury the mulch, plant a tree.

No matter how tough you think you are, when a six-year old hands you the invisible tea, you sip it.

I want a set of smart glasses with an AI function to replace billboards and other adverts in my vision with artworks. Without being a walking spy cam.

Yeah, Japanese parents think it’s healthy for babies to be scared to tears by sumo wrestlers. Am I a bad person for thinking it’s hilarious?

You seem to always be the worst version of yourself around them.

Same reason the US has the most prisons even though it’s aiming to be the freest country.

You still have an opportunity to impress me.

RAM and cornchip dust.

A sign like that would give a lot of confidence. I already bought three of these creepy victorian dolls whose eyes seem to follow you around the room because the seller assured me they’re not cursed in any way.

Why not open the door so she changes her mind?

Excellent.

I’d like to see your ‘science’ explain where the missing socks go in the dryer.

Hey, I need a fresh coffee and a few deep breaths before I make the attempt.

My first landlord gave me a plank to hold the door shut so he didn’t have to repair the lock and another plank to put over the hole in the bathroom floor that you could fall through to the foundations.

‘Safe’ living.

Don’t make promises when you’re happy; don’t make decisions when you’re sad.

A question I’ve struggled with my whole life. Some people are really good liars.

I knew someone IRL like that. Genuinely nice guy face-to-face, but never passed up the chance to take a swipe at someone online. As time went by his conduct and attitudes made it clearer and clearer that he’s dealing with undiagnosed mental health issues.

Means lift some of the mixture with your spoon, turn it over and press it in again. It’s a technique for mixing without squeezing the air out, so it will rise in the oven.

If you think Australia or New Zealand are joining an attack on Canada, you’re very much mistaken.