Who does this? The condiments would be gone half way through this way. You gotta get them down the sides.
People with big mouths (like me, I have a big mouth) eat hotdogs in bites that span left to right, and top to bottom along (approximately) a plane that lies perpendicular to the axis along which the hotdog was extruded. With this approach, the condiments merely have to run the length of the hotdog (or just the bun if you dislike messy eating) in order for them to participate in every bite.
Only small mouth dweebs that can’t fit a wide, juicy frank into their mouth when they’re gobbling down a… Nevermind, I think I got sidetracked.
No dawg, you gotta flip it turn-ways.
Who here likes hot weiners?
I actually prefer putting the stuff on the bun under the hotdog.
Replace that boring mustard with spicy brown and that’s exactly how I do a dog.
Under? So the first half is just plain dog?
Are you eating your dogs sideways? Every bite has mustard on it.
I’m eating them top down like everyone else. So if you don’t get condiments along the side of the dog, they’re gone after the first few bites.
You’re supposed to eat them from the bottom up. That’s how monkeys do it in the wild, so obviously it’s how we evolved to eat hotdogs.
Sometimes aesthetics trump evolution
Under. So the mustard is less likely to glop onto your shirt
They only do zhe lazy way here (press hole in bun, add sauce, add sausage) so you have non-absorbent bread and sauce only in the bottom, making a mess once you’re half through.
That sounds equally inefficient. I’m sorry that you have to put up with such uncultured swine.
Do you eat your hot dogs from the top down like a lunatic?
No, I eat them
tootop down like a normal person. How do you eat them?I eat them three down.
Isn’t hands free the standard?
Giggity.
Sorry, corrected.
I said what I said.
My four yr old eats hotdogs like this except he starts on a bread side in the middle
Good man.
I stand mine vertically and shave from them like a doner kebab.
Edit: I meant shawarma. Pretend I said shawarma. Just forget it. I’m not racist!
You don’t eat your doner kebab right off the stick?
Cause those dogs were bred for show.
this dude eating hotdogs like corn on the cob?
Op used ragebait. It was highly effective.
Absolutely cursed image. I’m dying.
What is wrong with you?
Can’t say for sure, I don’t have an official diagnosis so far.
Sgt chowdown doesn’t appreciate this post.
Dishonorable discharge for Sgt Chowchow
No no no, wrong guy, Sgt ChowChow is entrusted with US Nuclear facility codes under admiral Hugh Mann. Now those are names you can trust.
I don’t trust the admiral. I think he’s gunning for my job.
I like how he’s delicately cradling the
ballsbun
Yeah hi I make hotdogs as a job, instructions say all sauces on top. You want it changed, go fight corporate.
Fine, fine, I’ll fight them. We using gloves or bare knuckles?
Sock 'Em Boppers!
If it’s corporate, use brass knuckles!
I know, its so hard not to rub the weiners together before I sit down at the table 2 feet from my kitchen. The insatiable need to rub two sloppy condimented weiners against each other in such a way that the condiments on top are completely removed is just overwhelming. I can barely sit at the table before I give in to rubbing to sloppy condimented weiners together in such a way that all the condiments on the top come off.
You surely won’t regret rubbing sloppy condiment weiners together.
I use mustard on the bun first, like glue for the weiner. (2nd grade level giggle) Then i pile on the onions, relish, or whatever on top
I slather the crease in relish, then tuck diced tomatoes/onion/lettuce (eg) into the relish, then dog, then presentation mustard.
relish from the grocery store has gotten so cheaply made you have to strain it first. even, and especially, the mass market ‘name brands’. i did run across one super off-brand, imported from turkey or india or something, that was great, though… and like half the store brand price.
so unless i have that or strain the ‘regular’ stuff first, or just cut-up some pickles instead (what i’ve been doing more of lately), the relish goes on top. everything else goes on first.
The Heinz relish aint so bad… i use it and its ok. I miss the Coney Island deli we used to have here 20 years ago… its become a laundry now.
Onions and mustard? You must be an antifa terrorist!
So the first half is all the good stuff, and the second half is just mustard?
Wait. Are you eating hot dogs parallel to the dog or perpendicular?
I’m not sure what your frame of reference is, but I eat them top down like everyone else. Do you… not?
The appeal of the hotdog is the convenient mouth-sized cross section.
What? Whose mouth is that big?
Ice Bear apparently
Fair point.
Polar Bear has the right idea.
Reminds me of being a kid and making a wotsit (you might need to be from the UK to know what those crisps are) sandwich with cheese spread… and the cheese spread was there to stop the wotsits falling out.
Only small children and the Dutch use anything besides mustard on a hot dog you heathen.
Puritanical nonsense, and categorically untrue. The Chicago dog, Sonoran dog and chili dog are all firmly cemented in their respective regions, and those are just the first three I could think of.
There’s only one condiment that’s not allowed near my wien, and that’s ketchup. There exists a whole universe of acceptable hot dog condiments otherwise. I’ll prepare an extra “fully loaded” hot dog in your name tonight, and you better believe I’m going to savage that wiener, and all its saucy, crunchy and tangy accoutrements, with fervent gusto.
Are you a small child or Dutch?
No.
[citation needed]
no, that’s mayonaise on fries
OP is the type of guy who takes a shit and stands up to wipe his ass.
Sir this is not a Wendy’s
How dare they want to do a good job wiping
OP thinks his farts don’t smell if he can’t smell them.
We are the 25%
Sometimes my back hurts to twist. So it’s either that with the football hike, or shower. And work doesn’t have a shower.
I actually do this now because wiping my ass on the toilet gave me a herniated disc. The standing up is way more forgiving to the spine.
You put mustard on top and then spin the hotdog do the mustard is applied 360° and doesnt get all over you while you eat it.
Yep that’s what I do pretty much. Line of ketchup down the left, mustard down the right, then spinnnnn
This sounds promising, but how do you spin the dog when it is hot? Do you have some sort of dog rotation apparatus?
Use a napkin or suffer a minor finger burn. Worth it for the outcome.
Chef callouses ftw
I knew all my masturbation would lead to greatness someday!
This is The Way
I think you just changed my hot dog game. I need to try rotating my weiner.
You could even call it windmilling
Is that a salad?
Looks like it will feed a horde of pigeons after my desperate attempt to eat this hotdog without dropping anything on the ground.
Mmm, no. Thank you.
This is correct.
