I’d watch that movie. No forced battle royale, no video-game villain. Just a comedy that slowly goes completely off the rails for an escalating clusterfuck of fight sequences.

Avoid viewer fatigue by repeatedly looping back to the inciting incident and how it spread through different portions of the ship. You’d get the first go with the central cast and a knock-down, drag-out, slapstick fight between a handful of dudes, until their dramatic showdown in the middle of the ballroom is interrupted by a completely different mob of people getting chased through, and a straight-up swordfight on the balconies, and someone falling onto the dancefloor from god-knows-where. Rewind to where the main guys crossed paths with a different tour group and set off a misunderstanding that escalates into throwing food and then shoes and then cutlery. When that debacle plows into the ballroom, rewind again, and follow another short film about things getting wildly out of hand.

I’m picturing the Oldboy hallway scene, but with Zach Galifianakas wielding a pool noodle against fifty angry parents.