Tesla cars are shoddily built pieces of shit liable to fall apart and malfunction in dangerous ways at inopportune moments. No, this is not a blog from 2012! It is also not a blog from 2015 or 2018 or 2022. It is not even a blog from two weeks ago about Tesla’s self-driving systems killing […]
"Then the wheel falls off while you’re driving, or the autopilot plows into a jersey wall, and you’re meant to be thrilled.* Glad even. Grateful! This is proof: You were an early adopter. A beta tester, a brave explorer. You’re helping to work out the bugs, mapping new territory. Who knows? In a hundred years this car’s descendants might be as reliable as cars that by then will be 150 years old, and you will have played a part in making it so. Won’t that be nice.
But they’re claiming this as being something said or insinuated or anything from Tesla themselves. Who is telling Tesla owners they’re supposed to be happy when their cars have problems?
Do you struggle to comprehend simile, metaphor, hyperbole? Can you discern an opinion from a fact, or indeed an OpEd article from regular fact based reporting? Do you have difficulty detecting sarcasm and facetious turns of phrase? Does wit and creativity intimidate and confuse you? Are you secretly a Thermian from the historical documents chronicling the later adventures of the NSEA Protector?
Last paragraph…
"Then the wheel falls off while you’re driving, or the autopilot plows into a jersey wall, and you’re meant to be thrilled.* Glad even. Grateful! This is proof: You were an early adopter. A beta tester, a brave explorer. You’re helping to work out the bugs, mapping new territory. Who knows? In a hundred years this car’s descendants might be as reliable as cars that by then will be 150 years old, and you will have played a part in making it so. Won’t that be nice.
*Assuming you lived through it."
But they’re claiming this as being something said or insinuated or anything from Tesla themselves. Who is telling Tesla owners they’re supposed to be happy when their cars have problems?
Do you struggle to comprehend simile, metaphor, hyperbole? Can you discern an opinion from a fact, or indeed an OpEd article from regular fact based reporting? Do you have difficulty detecting sarcasm and facetious turns of phrase? Does wit and creativity intimidate and confuse you? Are you secretly a Thermian from the historical documents chronicling the later adventures of the NSEA Protector?
This is neither simile, metaphor or hyperbole. If anything it could be a strawman, but more realisticly it’s just rage-bait.
So basically its a work of fiction.
Tesla
Gimme a quote
Sorry it’s 2 in the morning here and I’ve had some alcohol…