Me (13 years old at the time): Dad, Mom’s cheating on you. I saw her making out with this man.
Dad: Listen here, princess. The guy’s filthy rich, and when you have money, it’s normal to have a hot mistress like your mom.
Me: But aren’t you jealous?
Dad: laughs
I was flabbergasted, lmao.
Pseudoephedrine is an amazing decongestant, and an ok stimulant, though with diminishing returns after a couple days in a row. Used to get it all the time in college when we couldn’t find something better. Called it “poverty Adderall”.