Do you give lessons in how to meet friends like that?

Okay, you know those memes where someone takes a picture of 40 honeydew melons and 33 potatoes in a single grocery cart and captions it, like “found the guy from those word problems,” or some shit like that?

This is that guy, except for porn instead of math.

I mean, “fair play to 'im,” as the Irish say. This man is living right.

EDIT: okay, but he probably lives in fear of emergencies that he can’t handle on his own, and he might have to call someone. Like, if he calls up a plumber, it’ll be a sexy plumber girl who immediately goes to work on his “pipe” and never actually fixes anything.

If bees build a huge hive in his crawlspace, it’ll be a sexy beekeeper girl, with nothing on under her bee suit. Talkin’ bout “oh no, I think a bee stung you right here” and then she’s slobbing his knob, instead of removing any bees.

Medical emergency? FOXY NURSE AND DOCTOR COMBO, OILED UP AND RIDING HIS DICK AND FACE, WHILE HIS COMPOUND FRACTURE GOES UNTREATED.