• TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    20
    arrow-down
    46
    ·
    6 months ago

    “You look nice today” could be a compliment or harassment.

    The difference is how good looking the person making the comment is

    • ShaunaTheDead@fedia.io
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      6 months ago

      No, it’s about your relationship to that person. Are you on friendly terms? Are they comfortable around you? Do you have some kind of established rapport?

      Or are you a complete stranger making a weird comment about another strangers physical appearance out of nowhere?

      • groucho@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        6 months ago

        Yeah. Also, superficially good looking people can still be sketchy weirdos. Vibe, context, and prior relationship are much more important than looks. Of course, some people can’t get their head around this and start blaming literally anything else: their height, their bone structure, a worldwide conspiracy against them. It’s crazy.

      • kora@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        6 months ago

        Exactly. The source and the setting make the difference, not the looks.

        Some big wig isn’t going to raise a hand in a board meeting and ask to go to the bathroom. Why not? Because they’re an executive and this isn’t a school room.

        I’ve not once ever heard or seen represented any person ask something like that… likely because its pretty easy to have the social skills to know better. So why are there so many loud men who want tk instead blame their looks when its just a refusal to abide by the same social skills?

      • TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        12
        ·
        edit-2
        6 months ago

        Do you believe that if we have 100 women and we put two random strangers, one looks ugly and one looks fit and beautiful, saying the exact same comment and then we ask then if it made them feel uncomfortable, do you really believe that the more ugly one will not have a higher percentage of “uncomfortableness”?

        I for one would love to see the results of that study.

        • ShaunaTheDead@fedia.io
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          6 months ago

          I believe their reactions might be slightly different depending on the person, but if you simply asked them if it made the comment made them uncomfortable they’d say yes 100% of the time.

    • Badabinski@kbin.earth
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      6 months ago

      Ah, excellent, thank you! I love it when shitheads make themselves obvious so I can block them. Toodles~

        • Badabinski@kbin.earth
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          Eh, I have a low tolerance for this kind of bullshit. I know what I like and what I don’t like. I went through their posting history before blocking them, and I found that the subjective quality of their contributions failed to outweigh my irritation towards them. To me, it’s better to just block them and never risk seeing comments like this from them again. There are a bunch of people on this site who I’d rather interact with.

          As a bonus, they’ll only ever have one shitty passive aggressive comment from me to deal with.

    • mcherm@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      6 months ago

      That’s the common gag, but ACTUALLY the difference is in whether the recipient of the comment was open to hearing it and whether the speaker intends merely those literal words or has other implications.