Between the vomitous word salad, shitting himself live on air during the debate, and swinging to music for the better part of an hour, it’d take whole minutes to tell he’d had an incident. Precious minutes

Those are balls

I recently rewatched the video of the UN assembly laughing to his face. Insanity that he’s still respected as any kind of statesman

Dad?

What about his diaper?

Good thing Arlington is in Virginia then… Oh wait, fucking youngkin

This is a brilliant joke that works on multiple levels

I mean, why not? The current tactic of making the catastrophic severity of climate change abundantly clear doesn’t seem to be working on the ignorant American public, or even their homes sliding into the sea or being consumed by wildfires. Whatever works

Four Seasons Total Landscaping and Minimum Security Prison ™

I got that on my computer in 1997 and kept getting pop ups for gay dating websites

That’s the thing, when you’re famous, they let you sit on them

Interviewer: Please, take a seat

JD: Ummm, here? Really?

Dear castingcouch.com,

Do you have any without the women?

Sincerely,

JD

Four Seasons Total Landscaping is back on the menu, boys!

then tell them I’ve got a song for them to listen to and out on black eyed peas.

You monster

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has been the foremost practitioner of the “call them weird” campaign strategy, but Harris has deployed it as well. It resonates with normal people, who just want to live their lives and keep the government out of their underwear and have Thanksgiving dinner without their weird uncle starting some weird fight about some weird Fox News talking head who is still obsessed about finishing fifth in a college swim meet many years ago.

Nailed it

Probably for 2 reasons:

1. quote “all politicians are corrupt and criminal” so this tactic doesn’t land (look at the dem senator from NJ)

2. few people know convicted felons but they do know “old and weird” people, so they can better draw personal parallels

With a cameo appearance by Fry’s (brain) worms from futurama!

Imagine Kamala debating Alec Baldwin as Trump. I know he’s persona non grata right now, but Trump’s meltdown would be bigger than Vesuvius

Why, yes, he is a very special boy!