🎵 If you’re a big fat man, I’m a titty fan, and I’d love to see yours too! 🎵

If your butt opened up like that, I’m not sure your problem is a lack of fiber.

Obviously. It’s a Britney Spears song.

Less gross than this kind:

(the vouyer sits underneath and the bucket is removed)

No duh.

Just mod in some parts that are spherical and build your own tits. Then send them to the Mun.

Being a terrible driver and not making way for emergency vehicles aren’t necessarily mutual.

Like, using another example, a bad driver might park a little over the line. An entitled asshole will purposely take up 4 spots or use the handicap space when they are not handicapped.

Dudes seeing a woman in black: “Is this a goth?”

He is in my yuri fanfics 🤷‍♂️

Lift and compress? 🖐️🙂‍↔️

Droop and separate? ☝️🙂‍↕️

You don’t kiss your homies with tongue?

His parents owned diamond mines or some shit in aparthied south africa. He’s just a fucking dipshit nepobaby to rich racists.

Ugh. I hate broccoli and cauliflower but sometimes sacrifices need to be made, I suppose.

I am 41. I found out about Lemmy because of Reddit’s API bullshit, and ended up staying here ever since the actual API shutdown that killed all the 3rd party apps which were the only usable way to browse the site on mobile. Was already getting sick of the place, since it was becoming more and more obvious that the admin staff had a nazi problem, and probably would have come sooner if I was aware of it 4 or 5 years ago. Or maybe I would have only seen Lemmy.ML and got turned off by the tankies. IDK…

I’ll take “things that are impossible” for 1000, Alex.

No “Wish they’d fucking die already” option?

This is what I’ve been wanting for so long. The current visuals can make it hard to tell what lane/turn to take when the roadways get a bit complicated. Visual of the road too small while the line showing your route is too big.

Step 1: Wait for night

Step 2: Point phone at sky

Step 3: Take a picture

Step 4: ???

Step 5: Profit

If that’s true, I’ll make sure to leave it unwiped for him.

Where’s the line

Games of Chance vs games of skill.

“But poker is a game of skill!”

No it fucking isn’t. You can mitigate your losses by folding early or bluffing, but you can not guarantee a win by being “better” when the luck of the draw is still against you, unless you’re counting cards.