Researchers are ecstatic at the prospect that they may have finally discovered the region of space from which Ozzy Osbourne came to this planet.

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Guy running for VP: “JD Vance may have sex with couches, dolphins, and even more disturbing things the electorate will learn about soon enough, but JD Vance will be damned if JD Vance ever uses the devil’s pronouns.”

Even worse, the entire concept of clocking in and out for ~8-hour shifts comes from factory jobs during the Industrial Revolution. Missing time meant that your station on the line wasn’t being manned and was holding up production. While obviously some fields still operate like that, many modern professions are task-oriented and being forced to be physically present for an entire shift is entirely unnecessary.

What you need is a criminal spokesperson.

Overthrow the tyrants that keep us in chains! Physically occupy residential property en masse and claim squatter’s rights. Bring back crucifixion for white collar criminals on Wall Street. Raid the pharmaceutical industry’s warehouses and distribute medication for free. In Minecraft, of course.

All I know about bridges is how to sell them, and I have one right now I can guarantee was built by an entirely white construction team. I examined their skull shapes myself. I’ll just need about $80 million, and it’s all yours, Elon.

What you say in the Fediverse echoes everywhere else that is federated. Pick an instance you like and have fun.

Since 2000, the FAA has levied about $163m in fines to Boeing for various safety and settlement violations, in some cases for failure to honor settlement agreements reached previously. This amounts to an average of $744,000 per year from 2000 through 2023. It’s peanuts for Boeing, the cost of doing business.

Warnings, threats, and deadlines followed by the tiniest of tiny slaps on the wrist. So what if a few planes full of peasants drop from the sky?

Boeing: Amtrak of the Skies. We’ll probably get you there safely.

Did they even try using poop from an Ivermectin user? My roommate’s uncle’s fourth cousin made a poop knife out of his Ivermectin shits and killed 3 census workers with it. This is why no one trusts Big Science.

“Our company is invested in the dynamic strategy of using people to solve problems. Person Intelligence or PI, as we call it. We know our strategy is out of favor now, but given that it has worked consistently throughout all of human history, we are hopeful for the future.”

And both guards fell asleep simultaneously. And no inmate had successfully committed suicide in that facility in over 20 years. And…

Meanwhile, the economy rich people’s yacht money is doing fantastic by every metric.

Think of all the money we’ll save on taxes when we win the lottery. That’s certainly worth destroying the Pax Americana built on New Deal policies and principles.

“Fuck serenity. George is here for payback.”

A little, but it was poorly-worded. I have the dumb today.

That’s a relief. Maybe the constant mistaken identity thing skips a generation.

He looks kinda old to be Tony Hawk’s son. Are we sure that’s even him?

Inside your vagina are two wolves…