Cordyceps is more compassionate than insurance company CEOs.

I got dropped crowd surfing at a metal show once. Luckily I landed next to this 7’11" guy who just grabbed me and chucked me back on top of the crowd by himself

All right but which one does it taste like?

Thanks to Fallout I can recognize the sound of a bottle cap hitting a surface from across a crowded room and get the intense desire to go and grab it

Well that depends, can you go fuck yourself?

“Birds that go whoop whoop” is a British juggalo looking for love

I was always a fan of “The Sea-Ward” from Arrested Development

More like: Very patient Boeing enthusiast commits sudden and unexpected suicide

Snoop Mauss

Fallout New Vegas VR

Ol’ Round Bastard

System of a Down, Static-X, Mushroomhead, and Alien Ant Farm would be one hell of a show

So the safe assumption is that any given officer in Florida is a murderer.

And the word “Offerings” will appear on the menu

Was it because my vehicle exceeded the weight limit with all of this updog I’m transporting?

Option number three:

Me:

So he’s worse than a cop, he’s a fucking fed

I believe it’s more like while this ship is sinking the majority are below decks with old buckets trying to desperately bail out the rising seawarer while the rich and those in power are above deck ripping off all the planks they can to build themselves a life raft, fully intent on leaving the rest of us to drown in the sinking ship.