• kepix@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    i had thoughts like that, then later realised my ex boss doesnt deserve a fast death

    • MalReynolds@slrpnk.net
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      2 months ago

      Yep, what a load of bollocks, the only thing this study is useful for is why would you do this.

      • architect@thelemmy.club
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        2 months ago

        People answer surveys as their ideal self not honestly. So yea most people, considering the constant virtue signaling about how non violent they are (lol to be proud of non violence while a pedophile rules you is a definitely a moral choice), are going to answer these surveys saying they are non violent.

        They are the most violent among us and they always have justification.

  • AnalogRegression@lemmy.worlddeleted by creator
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    2 months ago

    True story incoming.

    A while back I was dealing with a close family member’s horrific psychological attacks. This person is a true born narcissist of the highest order.

    It took me 4 decades to realize that my entire life is and has always been controlled by this person. The deceptive tactics used against me are unheard of, believe me, I dare not exaggerate.

    Anyhow, as any normal person might do under these extreme circumstances, I began playing out potential future scenarios wherein I might find myself backed into a corner with no way out. I have no access to guns nor would I even have the balls to try and acquire one… So the next best option would be a knife. I would think about the various knife like options I have available, particularly, a bunch of utility knives. Left with me after my dad passed away.

    One day, the aforementioned narcissist came for their monthly visit to the apartment they have me isolated in. However this time they brought along a co-conspiritor, another narcissist, in this case a “flying monkey”.

    During the visit, they mentioned, in passing, the various utility knives my father had.

    I swear on everything that is righteous and benevolent, they were READING MY THOUGHTS REMOTELY. Thus the reason they mentioned the knives, because I was THINKING ABOUT POTENTIALLY USING ONE!! AGAINST THIS VERY PERSON!!

    The reason the other person was brought along was them sending me a very clear message. We control you, we are constantly monitoring you including your own thoughts, and that particular thought, is a big no no.

    “Don’t fuck with us”

    • username123@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Sounds like you need psychiatric help. The good news is that if someone is trying to control you psychologically, they’ll help free you from that as well.

      • AnalogRegression@lemmy.worlddeleted by creator
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        2 months ago

        It was a psychiatrist that conspired with my controller when he prescribed EMSAM circa 2008. Within the first week, I went to 165lbs to 115. In the following weeks, I transformed into a golem like character. Scars all over my face and body, 5 day stretches of zero sleep and zero food and hardly any hydration to speak of. This went on for four goddamn years. Living in the house of my family, along side my narcissist controller. I even spent a week in the “looney bin” because of the effect on the drug. Guess who was the in house psychiatrist? The very same that prescribed me the drug. You’d think he’d see my appearance and decide to take me off of the drug immediately, which converts into methamphetamine metabolites in vitro, an interesting tid bit I dare say. I literally looked like the worst of the worst Faces of Meth mug shots, tho I’ve never used meth. The irony was brutal The thought of what I looked like never passed through my mind during the 4 years I was on EMSAM. It completely removed my depression for which I was prescribed the drug in the 7th place after many years of many SSRIs and SNRIs. it’s hard to feel anything let alone depression when you’re losing your mind and total sense of self including a state of absolute zero love that was supposed to be there for me. The family I so dearly loved were witnesses to all of this, and did nothing to stop it after seeing me drop to 115 in a weeks time. This is just a small but darkest time of my life full of sorrow and suffering. If I had a choice, I’d rather have been born into a poverty stricken country. Free from the medical lunatics that pervade every aspect of post modern American society. Losing oneself at the hands of a “Do no harm” hypocritic oath taker flying monkey of a narcissist of the highest order just doesn’t sit well with me. I needed help and hell is what they gave me.

        Make no mistake, I have immense gratitude for every experience of my life, especially the difficult ones. These are the signs and symbols I use to put back together my shattered soul. Smoke em if you got em as they say.

        What’s really crazy, in fact possibly insane, I just recently started up with another psychiatrist after a decade and a half after that one evil fuck. Why would I be doing this? I wouldn’t if I had any free will. My entire life, especially my emotions, are controlled and dictated by you should know who by now, if that message wasn’t clear enough as is.

        My post EMSAM life is nothing but lying in bed all day and night, only getting up to feed myself and piss and shit as needed. Every single passion of mine is gone from my younger days. My motivation and reward system left completely decimated by the EMSAM. The only thing that drives me is the hope of an endless dreamless sleep. This isn’t to say I am at all depressed. Realizing that the so-called depression was manufactured in what I can only assume to be the forges of cruelty and hatred. The very same that produced the narcissistic entity that I can’t help but try and empathize, for that is my primary function from the day I entered this busted ass world. How could they be so cruel? Is the question I ask myself on a daily basis. The love I have to share becomes a heavy burden with every waking and dreaming moment of my existence. If I could understand why someone so dear to me, would do such things to me, the puzzle that is my life would be complete. Perhaps my next life I would be born a narcissist of the same highest order. Full empathetic deconstruction.

        But I digress, I am at a loss for words to accurately and appropriately respond to your recommendation. I understand the need to tell people like me such things, for it is programmed into the societal American society at both ends. Your response is quite typical and should be expected but I don’t expect anything when my thoughts come pouring out. It is the release that I’m focused on, but I’d be lying if I’d say some responses to my shares reopen my spiritual wounds for a moment or two, a day or two at the most extreme. This is nothing I can’t handle but it sure as shit doesn’t feel to great.

        All I can offer is warnings at this juncture. If it happened to me, then others like me are out there and it is my instinctual duty to assist in preventing more potential unwarranted suffering.

        To end this “rant” on a seemingly lighter yet unbelievable note. A few years back, I noticed that the drug EMSAM was removed from my medical history. Wtf was I? An unknowing participant in a secret human drug testing experiment? Clearly, any kind credibility is of my experience isn’t great for the medical lunatics in charge of the “scientific” experiment. That’s the only explanation I can come up with.

        I am rooted in truth.

  • Em Adespoton@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    When I was doing my firearms training, one of the first things they had us do was think about shooting someone else… and then they taught us how to avoid doing so.

    Does that mean only 7% of American adults have had decent firearms training?

    • thebestaquaman@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Based on how the question is phrased, it can be very open to interpretation.

      I’ve thought all kinds of sick thoughts along the lines of “I could push this person in front of the arriving metro”, or “I’m holding a kitchen knife, if I were to stab the other person in the kitchen there’s nothing they could do about it”. When I was in the army, and we were at the shooting range, I could get thoughts about how easy it would be to shoot a whole load of people. Of course, I never consider doing those things. I’m talking about people I would lay down my life to protect, and I still get these thoughts.

      I was very relieved when I read somewhere that this is fairly normal, and some researchers ascribed it to a protection mechanism: Their theory (which they provided some evidence for), was that be evoking these thoughts, your brain makes you more aware of acute potential dangers, so that you can act more carefully to avoid them. Basically, by becoming conscious that you could push/stab/shoot someone, you handle your movement/knife/firearm more carefully to avoid doing so by accident.

      So: Have I thought about shooting someone? Plenty of times. Have I considered shooting someone? Never.

    • Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app
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      2 months ago

      That is an interesting thought exercise, I’ve gone through a few different firearm trainings through the years and never gone through that exercise.

      But to speak to the original topic… Yeah I’ve definitely had that thought. Never seriously, but ya know, intrusive thoughts and all that.

    • stankmut@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Only 7% makes me think people are interpreting the question as “would you admit on the phone to seriously considering shooting another person”.

    • psivchaz@reddthat.com
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      2 months ago

      Maybe they asked like, “SERIOUSLY thought about shooting someone” or perhaps “thought about shooting someone at a time that you actually had the means to do it” or even “made mental plans to shoot someone.”

      Or maybe I’m more of a psychopath than I thought I was. Like I don’t actually want to hurt anyone, and I don’t even own a gun, but the number of times it crossed my mind…

  • Lucius Finkter@piefed.social
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    2 months ago

    If you’ve never thought about shooting someone, then on what basis can you even say that shooting someone is wrong?

  • Siethron@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    If I ever get mad enough at someone to picture killing them it’s usually a blunt force weapon, so I get the low value on shooting here.

    • realitista@lemmus.org
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      2 months ago

      I can honestly say I’ve never wanted to shoot, stab, or otherwise graciously injure someone. I’ve gotten into some fistfights when emotions have gotten out of hand, but this is maybe why its important that everyone is not running around with a way to blast holes in people.