This will totally dox myself to anyone who might be in or know someone in an old friend group.

I’m a very furry person - I joke that I put the hair suit in hirsute - but at least it’s soft! Years upon years ago, I had a one night stand with my then future partner’s (now ex’s) best friend. It was bad. Really, awkwardly bad. The kind of bad where I woke up the next morning and, instead of trying for another go, groaned inwardly because they were still there, a living reminder of how bad it was.

I took out my phone and hastily messaged my best friend, asking her advice on politely dealing with this. Unbeknownst to me, my guest was awake, messaging my future partner. She described being barely awake in the early morning, petting my cat. I didn’t have a cat or any pets. As she became more aware, she realized she was petting my chest.

Apparently some humans think I’m a big stupid cat too.

P.s. She also thought the sex was awful.