This is going to be way more than five points but here goes:

• Restore rights that and make them ironclad and impossible to take away again in the future, basically, make the Bill of Rights really be as inalienable as it claims to be and turn it into something that no one can touch without facing harsh consequences.

• Eliminate privatized healthcare and replace it with a universal scheme.

• Eliminate Citizens United and hold corporations under the same laws as normal people and under the same penalties for breaking them as normal people, maybe then they’d actually have to stop their abusive tactics.

• Raise taxes on the rich while cutting taxes on everyone else, and cut military spending in half or deeper, and put the added funds and savings from cutting military spending towards restoring public media funding and earmarking said funding in a way that cannot be clawed back in a future rescissions package, as well as funding education, science, arts/humanities, and healthcare, and also reworking the public education system to where it’s not the joke of society anymore and it’s actually competitive with the rest of the world.

• Actually regulate AI before it destroys everything, and also count MLMs under the same definition as illegal pyramid schemes, Ponzi schemes, etc, and actually make running one a jailable offense just like those other scams.

• Eliminate privatized and especially for-profit post-secondary education, make predatory student loans patently illegal under the same scams listed above, and actually offer free post-secondary education like most of the other countries do.

• Raise federal minimum wage to where it actually catches up with living costs, and actually put stronger affordable housing programs in place than Section 8 and make them applicable to anyone who needs them.

• Make for-profit prisons illegal and reform the prison system to where it actually focuses on rehabilitation rather than punishment, which if done right will greatly reduce recidivism rates (that means no more ‘diesel therapy’ among other things), and finally…

• Actually hold anyone who tries to straight-up turn a republic into a dictatorship accountable for their actions, and also stop the manufactured ‘border crisis’ and actually allow the country to be the accepting bastion of freedom it bills itself as, basically let it do as it says on the tin, as it were, and start actually treating marginalized communities the same as everyone else, that means PoC, the LGBT community, the disabled community, and especially the AuDHD community has the same rights as everyone else as opposed to being discriminated against.

As an added bonus, outlaw mandatory online ID checks and code it into law that such things be strictly optional.

This is a hypothetical so I might as well go ham.

Gay marriage for all (mandatory)

Start looking for smart objective people to hire. I know enough to know that I don’t know enough to make decisions in a vacuum. At the end of the day, the president is the face of the government, but the people behind him are what should really matter.

As president, I run the executive branch.

1. Remove Trump’s cronies from positions of power in the executive branch. Re-hire the people he fired/layed off/quit.

2. Review currently effective executive orders. Cancel any which don’t directly deal with national security. Orders which might be supporting some significant aspects of large numbers of peoples lives will be ramped down slowly but predictably so no one suffers undue economic hardship.

3. Attend a bunch of boring meetings, occasionally decide the fate of Ukraine.

4. Respect the boundaries of my branch of government by not acting like a king and issuing a bunch of decrees without the agreement of congress.

5. Respectfully prod congress to reign in the executive branch’s power, implement reforms in the electoral process, and create term limits for supreme court justices.

immediately implement ranked choice voting at all levels of government and implement UBI

My zeroth thing would be to yell at the top of my lungs What the actual fuck

1. Increase security personnel for myself and the White House. Sadly this will have to be necessary given the hostile nature of the US at the moment… hopefully this is temporary
2. Reverse every policy Trump and the MAGA team have been doing (if that even counts as one thing)
3. Convert the US voting system to ranked choice voting
4. Add a wage indexing scheme: governmental salaries, minimum wage, and private market wage guidelines will be pegged to inflation
5. Increase governmental budget especially in areas like health, science

I’d probably be voted out by the time my term ends, but I hope at least some of the changes are permanent

• age limit on public representatives, probably the same as retirement
• voting is completely changed to a ranking system https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_transferable_vote
• hire a bunch of actually qualified people to run each office and governmental positions
• a bunch more shit that I dont feel like writing

Have a shotgun engraved with the words “Official Acts” and then do what comes naturally afterwards.

I resign and go home

I flee the country taking as much money as possible with me and then spend my remaining days drowning myself in hard drugs and pussy. I die three months later with a smile on my face, having made a much wiser decision than having anything to do with that shit show.

Seize all assets of the rich that put them over 100mil in estimated wealth.

Redistribute that wealth through a UBI that perpetually redistributes all wealth over 100mil.

End citizens united, end the filibuster, end the electoral college, expand SCOTUS to include 1 ELECTED rep from each state.

Force employers to offer union access to all employees if an employee ran union isn’t already available.

Codify Rowe v. Wade and Obergefell v. Hodges into federal law.

Guillotine every MAGA politician and anyone who still flies a Confederate flag.

Forced conversion therapy for anyone who voted MAGA. (It can be gay).

Enshrinement of equal rights amendments, gay marriage, abortion and right to gender affirming care in the constitution.

Yearly federal minimum wage updates and really automatic updates to anything pertaining to money based on inflation rates.

Nationwide ranked choice voting.

Become a commonwealth realm and submit to King Charles III

Mandate all social media companies to have activitypub federation

Introduce universal healthcare

Organise a USA vs Canada Chess game at the Haskell Free Library with the border intersecting the chess board

Organise a North Korea vs South Korea chess game at Panmunjom with the border intersecting the chess board

Since it works really well already, scam the american people and enjoy the rest of my life

1. Dollar is fucked, national currency is Bitcoin now. Hope you bought some.

2. You all have fought over gender too much, I’m taking it away. They/them for everyone. Using gendered pronouns is a minor offense, but can be considered harassment and/or incitement. All sports leagues are now coed. Bathrooms only have private stalls.

3. If anyone your business employs can demonstrate that they are below the poverty line, it’s getting nationalized. No, you don’t get to know the number before the fed publishes it each quarter.

4. Climate is fucked, and it’s significantly our fault. Gas is now taxed at 2,000%. Meats and well, everything really, is going to be heavily taxed according to carbon footprint. And that will go up until we reach our target net emissions, zero.

5. All elected public officials are executed at the end of their terms.

I will not be reelected, and I will not be taking any questions.