“So then li’l blorko was like I’ll totally glomp that and he was ratioed by woffle’s stans when they…”
You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn.
Is this a copypasta or just new greatness?
Copypasta, i’ve seen it many times before
Not always involving Rome. Not always the past. Not always even human when you wake up.
But for a brief moment I can try to imagine how good that must feel to not have any of this be a concern of mine, because I’m so far removed from it, it cannot affect me.
Like waking up as a sentient mycelium colony on a distant planet. Who gives a shit about housing prices or what youtube channel is allegedly being treated unfairly when your sole purpose is to slowly expand across the surface of an alien world and you can instead contemplate the quality of nutrients.
Careful, Hobbes. Calvin needs to be home for dinner, soon, so keep it simple.
your sole purpose is to slowly expand across the surface of an alien world and you can instead contemplate the quality of nutrients.
Zoom out far enough, and that describes humanity, too.
And suddenly you bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn.
“So then li’l blorko was like I’ll totally glomp that and he was ratioed by woffle’s stans when they…”
I have to know: are these words made-up or is the influence of vapid youtube whores ruinin–uh, I mean “evolving English the way linguists think is cool and proper”?
Ic hæfde to witan: sind þas word gemæne oððe is þæs unþeawfulle YouTube wifru forþfæreð, ic mean “eorðan Englisc swylce þa leornere witaþ is fægere and riht”?
It’s not made up. I sadly understand that sentence.
We can tell see you fail to understand the linguists take on prescriptivism vs descriptivism because your strawman quote uses the word “proper.”
Wait, “glomp” and “ratio” were NOT in the same vernacular. Not by a decade.
I do not regret clicking that link!
As a dad I care about the subjects my kids care about, so I’m able to take a genuine part in their (almost completely online) lives.
Right. Sometimes you just have to develop an interest into things you normally don’t care about to have something in common with the people you love.
And sometimes you just should care that your easily influenced teenaged kids are totally invested into content that glorifies and populises severe eating disorders.
Even if you don’t give a fuck about some avocado guy, these are the topics you should listen and talk about with your kids, to help them develop a healthy opinion and viewpoint of things like that. That’s actually a parents job.
This is the Exact reason I have a fortnight and Roblox account
I got pretty damn good at Fortnite. When they inevitably moved on to the next trend, I was kinda bummed
This is why I have a favorite team in League of Legends, a game I have never played.
Good, watching LoL is much better than participating the the cesspool that is the community.
I mean, most people just suck ass at realizing what part of a story could possibly be interesting to outside parties.
“A mukbang YouTuber (That’s someone who inhales disturbing volumes of food as entertainment) weighed over 350 pounds and just revealed that more than a year of their videos were pre-recorded as they lost 250 pounds!”
There. Simple. Easily worthy of a ”That’s wild!"
Additionally you could add that he convinced people that he was addicted to food and was borderline delusional
idk, it all kind of instantly made him like… more transparent?
i used to think he had a problem and people on the Internet were going to kill him. i now realize i was falling for his character and it’s all been part of the show. i work in tv, i should know better…
Has Boxxy taught you nothing?
Ooo I know this! That avocado guy. My kids told me about it AND I LISTENED.
DAD AWARD HERE I GOOOOOO
This is me when my roommate talks about random politics youtube drama. It takes forever to explain that to me and then in the end its about some irrelevant person being an asshole. There is no value in knowing about this.
What is your opinion on right-wing streamers like Tim Pool accepting millions from Russia to push Russian propaganda? I think drama like that is good to know about because it highlights the fact that the Maga movement is largely a Russian psy-op.
That’s not really “YouTube drama” though. That’s international news regarding Russian disinformation campaigns.
Slightly different subject than “Ticklepig beef with Bone Destroyer” or whatever.
I hope someone starts creating content under the name Ticklepig Beef Bone Destroyer.
Is the tickle pig beef with bone destroyer thing something that your roommate actually told you about, or are you just making up a hypothetical example? I don’t know if I love or hate the fact that I can’t tell.
I am a different person, and its completely made up because I know nothing about YouTube “creators”.
Im the person in question and im personally rooting for Ticklepig
Fuck you, Bone Destroyer didn’t deserved to be tickled like that in their collab. Ticklepig said he wouldn’t tickle despite him tickling everyone who goes on their channel. Bone Destroyer just had particularly ticklish bones so he pissed his pants. Who amongus hasn’t?
New viewers, new cycles of endless, pointless, drama. Soap operas, YouTube dramas… football, soccer (real football), most American sports., video games, doomscrolling your favorite meta site.
Seriously, we all have our vices. The message here is that your kid wants to TALK to you. Connect with them. This drama is less important to them, just learn the player’s names.
I wish I had kids who wanted to spend a long time talking with me.
Is the part missing kids or interest?
Secret
┐('～` )┌
Imma be* seriously disappointed if my kids wanna gossip about anyone. I’ll take it as a failure on my part. They wanna explain the finer points of their latest Splatoon build, or argue about which hokage was the best, that’s fine. But gossiping is a horrible habit and I will not abide it.
I teach my kids about the cults of personality that exist in the world, and they’re not allowed to watch any videos with a face in the corner.
Oh god, my whole family has become gossipers. I don’t know what and why it happened, but we used to make fun of people in our neighborhood who would sit behind their windows all day, trying to find something to gossip about. Now they have become those people.
Back in my day this was just sports team drama and I didn’t care about it then either. Life is better when you don’t care about the drama of total strangers you will never know in person.
I typically ignore most of it in blissful ignorance, but had a recent exposure to someone called FrogBait. On the one hand I get it, especially when she’s ranting about trad wives or people destroying antique houses to make them look like new builds instead of just buying new builds. I was more fascinated by the confusion of seeing the juxtaposition of my childhood 80s (hair of almost everyone) and my college 90s overlaid on such a young person. But that’s cool.
.
The objectionable part was a mild sense of a quality that I suspect isn’t FrogBait but the entire YouTube personality vibe as a whole that is oddly reminiscent of the brain impact of 1am infomercial loops of the 80s and 90s. Or QVC just on all the time.
.
As unobjectionable as I found the individual and their product, at base, that type of content possesses a mind numbing, consumption vibe, not unlike a long TV ad. It ends in a frustrated standing up and rushing off to something, anything, productive, to shake off the brain fog. I don’t get why people are so attached to it.
.
I suspect I sound old saying any of it.
Explain like I’m dad? Fat guy lost weight and pretended to be fat for years anyways for lols?
Who cares? Sooner or later all of them turn out to be awful people anyways. Just ignore it as best as you can.
Which celebrities have split up? A new royal baby! I hate it all so much.I want to know if the fat guy hoodwinked everyone because thats funny.
I work with someone about my son’s age. My coworker is constantly asking if I saw some video on TikTok or YouTube. The answer is always so he tells me about the video. IDGAF
So, start relaying the premise to a show you watch and tell them about episodes. Preferably a law enforcement drama, like NCIS or SVU.
“Let me tell you about Homestuck…”
Instant Lobotomy
Did you see Lawrence Welk last night?
I like this one
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We talk about lots of other things.
Even after a year he cannot remember I don’t watch YT or TikTok a lot. It is difficult to immediately pull up the video due to work rules.
I have the opposite problem with my elderly mother where she talks about people by their first name for ages and I only realise it’s Line Of Duty and not her friends from tennis when they start shooting each other in the back.
ROFL, things like this restore my hope for humanity.
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Not a parent, though personally, I sometimes like watching online drama because of how unhinged and nonsensical it can get. However, the real fun stuff is when twitch streamers have collabs and know each others running gags or strange quirks. They’re almost always unscripted and can result in the weirdest conversations and situations I’ve ever heard. The kind of conversations that end up being hilarious and I want to share them with someone but then I realize they need 2hrs of context to understand why it’s so funny. Like chips for dinner, Rev stabbed a guy, or Jerma being a fucking psycho.
