I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?

  • Banana@sh.itjust.works
    182·
    1 day ago

    Especially since they are hard-wired to just not notice it - hence why we constantly get told we are overreacting - to them it comes out of left field because they do not see what we see.

    The real piss off with that is that while I realize it isn’t their fault they are socialized that way, if they really want to believe that they, individually, are one of the “good ones” (as in, the non-problematic men, the ones not contributing to the problem) they can’t justify that belief unless they are actively listening when we tell them what we experience, or how something comes across from our perspective. So many of them want to push the problem down by saying “nuh uh” or arguing with us about our own damn experiences

    Its fucking asinine.

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
      183·
      1 day ago

      My favorite is when they acknowledge we live in a patriarchal society, that women are treated worse than men, but we are overreacting or simply imagining men are treating us this way.

      Fucking asinine indeed!

      • JigglySackles@lemmy.world
        91·
        1 day ago

        Sorry you girls/women have to fight so hard just to have a space. Probably makes it hard to want to try some days and it shouldn’t be that way.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
          82·
          16 hours ago

          As dkppunk said, it would help if the good men here would push back against their fellow men and some of these attitudes here. Seeing others push to create space for everyone to feel welcome helps a lot!

          • JigglySackles@lemmy.world
            4·
            5 hours ago

            I haven’t come across much, but I mostly visit stuff where discussions don’t bring in anything mysoginistic. I may not notice everything as immediately since I’m not the one directly affected, but I do try to speak up when I notice because it affects some of my favorite people. I’m glad though, that you and others are speaking up and pushing so more of us take the effort to heart and pay proper attention.