Serious illnesses can be horrifying to watch someone go through and poverty routinely seperates loved ones.
Standing by someone in a terrible - perhaps terminal - condition is absolutely an incredible challenge and shouldn’t be dismissed as anything less than that.
A big reason you want to stand by your partner in perilous circumstances is because you want them to be there for you. And another big reason is because you might not get any more moments together than this, so make them last.
In a place like America, where sick days are a luxury and health care can still bankrupt you, being at someone’s bedside is a cross to bare. Be happy when you’re not carrying it. Don’t be so quick to judge when someone else can’t.
Well as an argument I can agree with you. There is a lot to be said for “you don’t know until it happens”.
That being said, we aren’t discussing the broad strokes, we’re looking at this meme. And from context and wording shows not pragmatism, but self centered behavior(please note the intentional distinction between selfish behavior and self centered behavior).
I literally was a caregiver for ten years (full time six of those years). My wife recently died. I was astonished by the number of people who told me to leave her. wtf is wrong with people. You don’t abandon people who are suffering.
Yeah, exactly. I don’t see this as black and white as it’s made out to be. Where’s the point in cancer or another serious disease ruining two lives? Sure, sometimes people leave for selfish reasons. But protecting yourself is not selfish, it’s essential for survival. If you stay and support a sick person, that makes you a good person. Leaving someone because you cannot handle dealing with the disease emotionally or financially doesn’t automatically make you a bad person.
That whole “'til death do us part” is some ancient bullshit. People change, situations change. Sticking with a bad situation because you once said “in good times and bad times” even if it is destroying you is some toxic-ass bullshit.
Oh fuck off. I am not being contrarian. I am just too old to believe in absolutes. Things change, people change. That’s just life. And having seen multiple people die of cancer over the years, that shit is no fucking joke and will absolutely ruin the lives of everyone involved. If someone just cannot handle that, it’s OK to leave that awful situation. Yes, it does suck even more for the person who’s actually ill. But I really don’t see a point in ruining multiple lives because of one person’s illness. Again, if people want to step up and be there, that is amazing and laudable. But if you step away simply to protect yourself, you will probably feel bad and wish you could do more. But sometimes you just can’t. Once more: that’s simply how life is.
Just considering the demographics on this website, there’s a fairly decent chance you’re not older than me. Our experiences may differ.
But just by reading this, it’s pretty clear that we have a different definition of a vow. I’m not sure why you’re so up in arms about this.
I called you contrarian because you’re in here arguing a point I didn’t even make. I didn’t say that I would hold you to a vow nor that I would judge you if you broke your vow.
I said that over the last ~50 years of me watching people I have seen a general pattern of the lessening of the value of these intangibles.
I work in a hospital (not a nurse or medical staff) and you’d be fucking appalled by how common this is.
Serious illnesses can be horrifying to watch someone go through and poverty routinely seperates loved ones.
Standing by someone in a terrible - perhaps terminal - condition is absolutely an incredible challenge and shouldn’t be dismissed as anything less than that.
A big reason you want to stand by your partner in perilous circumstances is because you want them to be there for you. And another big reason is because you might not get any more moments together than this, so make them last.
In a place like America, where sick days are a luxury and health care can still bankrupt you, being at someone’s bedside is a cross to bare. Be happy when you’re not carrying it. Don’t be so quick to judge when someone else can’t.
Well as an argument I can agree with you. There is a lot to be said for “you don’t know until it happens”.
That being said, we aren’t discussing the broad strokes, we’re looking at this meme. And from context and wording shows not pragmatism, but self centered behavior(please note the intentional distinction between selfish behavior and self centered behavior).
I literally was a caregiver for ten years (full time six of those years). My wife recently died. I was astonished by the number of people who told me to leave her. wtf is wrong with people. You don’t abandon people who are suffering.
That, Idfk. One thing to collapse under the pressure. Another thing to get up in someone’s business and say something so vile.
Yeah, exactly. I don’t see this as black and white as it’s made out to be. Where’s the point in cancer or another serious disease ruining two lives? Sure, sometimes people leave for selfish reasons. But protecting yourself is not selfish, it’s essential for survival. If you stay and support a sick person, that makes you a good person. Leaving someone because you cannot handle dealing with the disease emotionally or financially doesn’t automatically make you a bad person.
Unless you have made a conscious vow otherwise.
That whole “'til death do us part” is some ancient bullshit. People change, situations change. Sticking with a bad situation because you once said “in good times and bad times” even if it is destroying you is some toxic-ass bullshit.
Contrarian bullshit is so chic.
The concept of no-fault divorce must infuriate you.
The concept of reading through a comment and understanding it before writing a vacuous reply must terrify you.
Nah.
Oh fuck off. I am not being contrarian. I am just too old to believe in absolutes. Things change, people change. That’s just life. And having seen multiple people die of cancer over the years, that shit is no fucking joke and will absolutely ruin the lives of everyone involved. If someone just cannot handle that, it’s OK to leave that awful situation. Yes, it does suck even more for the person who’s actually ill. But I really don’t see a point in ruining multiple lives because of one person’s illness. Again, if people want to step up and be there, that is amazing and laudable. But if you step away simply to protect yourself, you will probably feel bad and wish you could do more. But sometimes you just can’t. Once more: that’s simply how life is.
Just considering the demographics on this website, there’s a fairly decent chance you’re not older than me. Our experiences may differ.
But just by reading this, it’s pretty clear that we have a different definition of a vow. I’m not sure why you’re so up in arms about this.
I called you contrarian because you’re in here arguing a point I didn’t even make. I didn’t say that I would hold you to a vow nor that I would judge you if you broke your vow.
I said that over the last ~50 years of me watching people I have seen a general pattern of the lessening of the value of these intangibles.