One of my new friends is/was a cop. Just found out about it. I genuinely believe ACAB, and this news has me conflicted because my new friend seems really cool and super nice. I don’t know him super well yet, though. He’s a big part of this new friend group and I don’t know how to process this and how to deal with the fact he’s a cop.
I don’t want to look past the fact he’s a cop, but I want to stay his friend and stay in this friend group.
Any advice for dealing with this shit?
I can’t talk to my therapist about it until Thursday.
I believe ACAB, and my cousin is actively trying to become a state trooper.
Doesn’t mean I walk up and spit in his face at every family gathering. We talk, we grew up together, we shoot the shit and have a good time.
But if he asked me to condone or celebrate his job? Nah, he knows how I feel about the police and their profession, as long as he’s safe and not drinking the Kool aid (he will) that’s all I can hope. And that maybe he’ll open his eyes someday. 🤷♀️
As a hard rule, though, I won’t date cops or mess around with them. One reached out on a dating app recently and I just politely responded with “I’m not interested in law enforcement, sorry” to which I got “Uh, I’m actually a correctional officer.”
Cool, so you abuse people after the police have finished abusing them, that’s not the brag you think it is.
This is the best mentality
ACAB is about defaulting to thinking of them as bad guys and enemies until proven otherwise. This new friend of yours has proven otherwise, why you so hung up on it. The world isn’t black and white, there’s all kinds of shades in between and it’s not even a linear scale. Have some nuance in your morals and ethics.
I genuinely believe ACAB, and this news has me conflicted because my new friend seems really cool and super nice.
What you’re experiencing is cognitive dissonance. New information is clashing with your prior beliefs, leaving you with a choice: either update your beliefs or double down and lie to yourself even harder.
The thing is: which belief is the lie? Can cops not be bastards? Or is this guy not as nice as he appears to be?
That all cops are bastards.
How can you be so sure that’s the lie? Is that not just your own prior belief? Why do others need to evaluate their beliefs, but yours should only be doubled down on? Is that not cognitive dissonance?
