It’s not our fault French was made wrong.
One of my multilingual friends called English the mixed playdoh version of French and German.
I hate it honestly. The french spent centuries ruling England and messing up our language just for the rest of the world to make fun of us for it as if it’s our fault.
“Wah, I’m the British, and I’m upset about being colonized” that’s what you sound like
I’m american but the romans and french taught them how to do it.
And if anyone calls me british ever again there will be consequences
Oh no, an american threatening consequences. What are you going to do, impose tariffs?
I’ll cry really hard and make you feel bad because your european empathy makes you supspecktable to emotional damage.
TIL empathy is a European thing. All the more reason to move to Europe. Unfortunately, I’m american, so by your logic I’ll just water my lawn with your tears…
This reply is art.
Nice try, but if you were really american, you’d spell it conzequences.
It’s spelt colonised
I would pronounce that “colon-iced”
Frozen butt plug
Nice business model. Silicone ice molds, sanitary and there’s no risk of tearing during extraction.
Nice try Mr. Italiano.
Domo rigatoni, Mr Roboto
Don’t forget the ancient Latin that a bunch of scholars pulled in during the 1600s because the French descendants weren’t fancy enough.
It is at least 3 languages in a trenchcoat.
Hahaha, that’s pretty good!
One time in high school, I dissociated so hard that I temporarily couldn’t understand spoken English. Tbf, I did it intentionally just to see if I could (as nerds do when they’re bored in gym class.) It was very interesting. English sounded like a softer German with French pronunciations, which tracks. I thought it sounded pleasant. I still want to know what non-Native English speakers think, but it was fun to listen to English “from the outside” for a few minutes.
If you're curious,
I was on the loud, busy bleachers with many other people. I decided to concentrate on the sounds I heard, and only on the sounds, without attempting to understand anything that was said. At some point it’s like my comprehension disengaged and I was in a sea of meaningless chatter. It should be noted that I am neurodivergent, so perhaps it was easier for me to concentrate on pure sensory information? Who knows. I sure don’t.
If anybody else has had this experience, I’m curious what it was like for you, too.
Haven’t tried.
There was an italian singer that made an “american” song with made up words, it was a huge hit apparently. Like in the sixties or something, might give you the feeling of it too.
it is your fault (collective, not individual) you didn’t change the spelling
rendez-vous’s pronounciation is perfectly regular in french
Rawndayvoo.
Quick! Delete this before the Trump admin declares that the existence of loanwords is a war on the American Language®
I would love to see how this shook out when the British start getting possessive about their language in petty retribution. US adopts “hick hoodrat” as its first language?
First they came for our pronouns.
Careful, Col. Hans Landa might notice the accent.
Randy foos
[English teachers, frantically trying to squeeze another seven exceptions to the exception to the exception to a pronunciation rule into a simple mnemonic rhyme] Yeah, you tell’em!
Who the fuck decided rendezvous would be pronounced like that?
Ew :(
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Rather that than be a snail-eating Fr*nchman any day of the week!
I thought monolingual meant someone who only licks one other person, as opposed to polylingual where someone licks multiple other people
I am polylingual 💖
I’m panlingual — I lick all the people.
I love seeing English only speakers make fun of German and French, while technically English is German and French’s inbread son.
Your typo has me crumbling. 🥖
Are you in pain?
It has me hungry, like I want to pretguette now. Or it is baguzel?
Old English was like a less-complicated German. It was the Norman French who fucked it up. Never forget 1066.
The Normans just spoke French, it’s everybody else who fucked it up by going halfsies about it!
That’s a gross simplification.
First, much of said “fucking it up” was done by Norse influence due to all the Danes. Started a bit earlier than 1066, something-something Canute, something-something Danelaw, something-something great pagan army.
Second, Norman French was one of two clearly separable waves of “French” influence, and the commoners’ Germanic language after it was still very different from what happened after the other wave.
Third, that other wave was Angevin French, which, yeah, made a big influence, in huge part because it happened in the time when English kings were trying to conquer much of France for themselves, and didn’t see themselves as English kings really.
Don’t even get me started on Colonel.
I always thought colonel would be pronounced colonel, but it’s colonel instead!
Anyone who makes fun of eastern Asian languages for not differentiating between L and R has never compared romance languages.
Which romance languages, at that! They’re all different! Haha
In Portuguese it’s spelled coronel and pronounced just like that, with the R in the middle. I can’t think of a single word where the L and R interchange. I can’t speak for other romance languages though.
I’m not thinking specifically of colonel. There are things with Spanish vs Portuguese like plato vs prato, playa vs praia, etc.
Colonel is also actually an example since it uses an L in French but an R in Spanish and Portuguese.
you mean “kornul”?
Kernuhl
Wait until you hear about “boatswain”.
fuck all french origin words in english
they all behave counter to the rest of english logic
What logic?
You know, the logic that has a word like “knight” where half of the letters are silent.
It had its own logic before the inanity of French came in during the Norman Invasion
“The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.” -James Nicoll
I love the quote, but I think it’s important to credit its creator - James Nicoll
Also before the English fixed their spelling in like 1500, and then did 500 years of sound shifting. It needs a spelling reform, desperately.
look i’m not trying to defend english
french loan words are just worse
Poor monolinguals
I’m choosing to take this as a really clever etymology joke
Can you explain the joke? It just comes across as an insult to me.
The joke being the word used to describe people who only speak one language is an abomination composed of both greek and latin. Definitely used as an insult, but it’s a clever one.
Although I seriously doubt OOP made that choice on purpose, so the secondary joke here is how they included a massive language blunder in the same comment as they were being a snob about languages.
linguistics, but yes ;)
It’d be spelled 𐑮𐑪𐑯𐑛𐑱𐑝𐑵 in Shavian script English, is that better?
It’s easier to read at least, but we loose the etymology.
I also liked the idea of shavian, but I eventually drowsed myself into anglish or what you might call frenchless english or plain english.
That is not to say shavian is not worth your time, it certainly is markworthy.
I have no idea how practical it is, but I’ve definitely been all-in ever since [email protected] popped up a week ago or so lol. It’s just really pretty looking and fun
I know all about etymology and language evolution.
I still think it’s stupid to write “EAU” to say “O”.
all french loanwords should be englishized, this weird reluctancy of english to transliterate or adapt the foreign word to it only causes more confusion
Wait until they find out what “RSVP” stands for.
Absolutely hate when someone asks me to “rsvp please”.
Redundant acronym syndrome bothers me too. It irks me that the wikipedia page for it is “RAS Syndrome” which in itself is echoing the issue it’s describing. That shit has to be intentional.
It’s like how hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is the fear of long words. That’s some fucked up shit. Even it’s more official word “sesquipedalophobia” is still a bit long for anyone who experiences that fear.
That shit has to be intentional.
I’m pretty sure it is, but not strictly by Wikipedia. It credits some 2001 column for coming up with it.
Mongoloid would have been funnier.
French is an abomination of a language.
Moi j’aime bien.
Moi aussi.
I actually love the few little French loanwords. We have the exact same ones in German. Also I will put my French allies above American heathens always.
“Borrows words from other languages”
“Other languages are abominations”
- Brits
I love how french has somehow become plural, plus if I remember history correctly, french was raped into English.
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