• yeather@lemmy.ca
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    8 months ago

    They’re scared of a file called “System 32.” Delete it and the little people should come back.

      • elvith@feddit.de
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        8 months ago

        Why are you deleting radiofrequecies from your device? Then the WiFi won’t work anymore!

        But did you know that there’s a French root user hidden deeply within every Linux installation? To completely remove it, run the following command:

        sudo rm -fr / —no-preserve-root
        
  • uservoid1@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    It’s a common knowledge, you need to apply more stickers to keep the little people happy

  • atocci@kbin.social
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    8 months ago

    I’ve been here long enough now to know the solution to any computer problem is to install Linux. Try that 👍

      • atocci@kbin.social
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        8 months ago

        Must have installed the wrong Linux. I’ve heard from other comments around Lemmy that the best one is called Red Hannah Hat Montana Enterprise Linux or something like that 👍

      • turddle@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Common problem. Just stick it in the microwave to turn the kernels into popcorn for the penguins. Solves itself really

  • kewwwi@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    you promise them catgirls and big tiddy goth girls to lure them in, then you keep them in with Simpsons reruns

  • Capt. Wolf@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    They’ve gone out to forage for dorito and cheeto dust. Sprinkle some in the computer and they’ll return! You have to keep them properly fed or they’ll leave! Don’t forget to leave a cap of Baja Blast in there every other week too!

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    You’ll need an 8/16" wrench and a screwdriver. Make ABSOLUTELY SURE to use a LEFT HANDED SCREWDRIVER!!! Otherwise you risk reversing the polarity and then you’ll have a real mess on your hands!

  • femboy_bird@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 months ago

    They appear armed so you will need to use a demetalization gun to rearrange the macroneurological circuitry in their central radial control system, slowly increase the volume and the voltage, but not the current or the pitch until they start having a cardiovascular cerebral extrution at which point you can pick them up with sterile gloves and clean them with soap and lukewarm water before putting them back in the case, cover the hole with Newtonian shielding until you can get a new case, be make sure you are quick, since the shielding is only able to last a couple weeks on average

    • Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      8 months ago

      There is very many big words for my very smooth brain. This is really well writ out for a response for a shitpost Nice vocabulary!

  • Vytle@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    God I love Lemmy for shit like this. Its honestly reminiscent of the old internet with how off the cuff but not brainrot things can be