This past week, someone thought I was still in high school (sometimes known as secondary school), but I’m actually at least ten years older.
I don’t care what they think since they are still in high school themselves, but I’m sure other people have thought I was that young (but didn’t say it out loud).
Other than growing a beard, what else can I (and other men) do to make ourselves (at least facially) look older?
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start smoking and drinking, cut back on sleep and find an unfulfilling stressful and thankless job that also underpays. throw in some women/partner/spouse that treat you like shit to really speed this up.
Just get a bad wife, won’t even have to do anything yourself
Have kids. The people with kids who are ten years younger than me look twenty years older than me.
I used to have 3 grey hairs on my beard. Now she’s 3 and it’s all fucking grey.
“Well you’re probably just naturally greying anyway”
No. I’m greying because every visit to the toilet is an hourlong negotiation that didn’t have to happen.
It’s all about what you wear.
White New Balance 608s, jorts, and a graphic tee about sarcasm or puns. Make sure your 608s are stained a little green from mowing the lawn.
Route every conversation back to your lawn, lawnmowers, or the Traeger/Blackstone you want to buy when your wife let’s you.
Literally that easy.
I second this in terms of what you wear. If you walk around in t-shirts or sweaters, you will look younger. Dress older.
Hang on to that shit as long as you can.
Just enjoy it while it lasts. People have consistently estimated me 10 years younger than my real age for decades. Well, until now, since I’m getting some grey hairs.
Youth is wasted on the young.
Just wait…
A good haircut can help. Get one that fits your face better than whatever standard cut you’ve had since middleschool or earlier.
Fat hides change. Get fit.
A lot of the difference between hs and mid 20s is largely about demeanor. How you carry yourself with a bit more knowledge about who you are.
Hi!!
Not sure of your complexion, but a tan could make you look a bit older.
A hair cut that fits your face shape is another thing that could age you up as well.
Other than that, I say the clothes you wear, but that can be hit or miss.
You can do it with a toothbrush. Just brush your teeth twice a day and you’ll look older sooner than you expect. It’s actually pretty annoying. You get all kinds of infirmities to help you act the part. Enjoy your youthful good looks while they last.
I didn’t get the joke. How can having clean teeth make you look older?
We wait ten to twelve years.
Life isn’t a race. Hold onto your youth and don’t peak early, stay whimsical and have fun
Once you’re actually old, you’ll be glad that it’s at least a new experience
Stress.
Caring about how old people are or look is a young person’s game.
When you go “What? Of course I know today is Tuesday… Oh yeah you’re right, it is my birthday. Nah, just an early night for me.”, no one will think you’re a high schooler.
But style choices, posture, glasses and other accessories can make a difference as well.
Or just take thinning shears to your temples and crown, and go for a balding look.
Spend long hours under the scorching sun with no protection. The irreversible damage caused by UV light will make your skin look significantly older. Bonus points for not using sunglasses, so your vision can deteriorate faster too.
I don’t think I need to say this, but just in case: do not actually do that.
Also, I too used to think “I can’t grow a beard” due to thin and not very dense facial hair, but if you say “screw it” and do it anyway, it eventually works out (unless your reason is different). It’ll look like absolute shit for a while, but once the slower growing areas catch up, it’s not that bad.
