I was running for my train. After entering in the station airlock, for a reason i still can’t explain, i turned right instead of continuing straight ahead and BAM, i hit a glass with my face. Now i have a little scar, fortunately hidden behind my eyebrow.
Putting on a sock, lost my grip and punched myself in the particulars.
I’m sure you didn’t think so at the time, but that’s hilarious
Jumped off a moving train and immediately ate shit, dislocated my shoulder… The train did not seem like it was going very fast. We were still at the platform, just getting going.
There’s a gif out there of a guy doing the same thing, that someone edited so he explodes when he hits the ground… Just like that but no explosion… Except the explosion of pain of course
like half my concussions have been the stupidest shit ever. once when i was a kid i randomly decided to jump down the last 5 or so stairs. but there was a door there so i fucken CONKED my head on the frame, spun backwards, and then SLAMMED my shit for a second time on the bottom step.
that was probably the worst one, i think it legitimately fucked up the way i form memories. i have a lot of face blindness issues now, but i always INSTANTLY recognize people from my childhood.
This loss of memory you say must be related the concussion you told us last week. Can you remember more than 5 minutes now?
i know i drank a soylent for breakfast, but i always drink a soylent for breakfast, so…
my long term pattern recognition is totally fine! :D
Don’t go bauldering while still drunk / deeply hungover. Did a challenging route that I had only recently gotten the hang of and leapt for a grip. Fell. Turned in the air and landed on my ankle. Stupid injury.
Okay so I was having a hard time pulling the plug out for our dryer. I Was only able to get it out partly. Part of the metal from the plug was exposed, so I wrapped my hand around those parts to get a better grip. Smh. You know what happened next.
When I was ~10 I was running around the house with a white bedsheet over my head. I was pretending to be a ghost while I chased my older brother around the house. Unfortunately I slipped backwards on the sheet and hit the back of my head on my mom’s solid oak coffee table. Immediately blood started soaking the sheet red and I obviously screamed out in pain. My mom came running into the living room to find me screaming and the sheet just turning more and more red.
At this time we lived about an hour away from the nearest hospital and my mom knew if she tried to take me in for stitches that I would probably bite the doctor or something (I have a pathological fear of needles). So she opted to shave my head and tape it shut. Then she instructed my brother to keep me awake for the next few hours (she was worried about a concussion) and she let me watch whatever movie or play whatever video game I wanted for the rest of the day.
It healed fine and now I have a small scar on the back of my head that is only visible if I shave my hair super short.
Was doing some woodworking with the big power tools my dad had set up in the basement. First time using the table saw, I start my cut and realize the blade wasn’t high enough and wasn’t cutting through the whole piece of wood. I knew that I couldn’t let go of the wood while the machine was running, or it would become a projectile.
So I turned it off and immediately let it go, turning it into a projectile because the blade was still spinning. Luckily it only caught the back of my finger, though it left a scar.
Once dropped a machete and instinctively tried grabbing it mid-fall as if it were my phone.
Still got the scar 10+ years after the fact lol
A falling
knifemachete has no handle.
I bought a new pocket knife when I was 16 and immediately started testing it out by slashing at the Bouganvillieas in the garden. I followed through too hard and slashed the thum on the other hand,took out a scallop the size of a 5c piece, but not all the way. Got it stitched back up but I still have tingling there to this day.
I was 17 and drunk, had a new pocket knife and saw probably the largest traffic cone I’ve ever seen in my life. The better part of 2m tall(over 6ft), and that cone was asking for a shanking. All fun and games until the lock on the blade failed and the knife closed on my thumb. Walked 4km to the closest 7-11 where I guy I knew worked so I could use the first aid kit. Probably should have gone to the hospital…or at least a GP. Healed up mostly fine, just if I have quite a long gaming session using a controller that thumb will lock bent and I have to force it to unbend…
Broke my wrist on a punching bag one time because I had poor form. Now I have a nice screw in it.
I had a very sturdy, energetic dog who loved chasing a thrown ball. He was tied to a long rope (about 100 feet). I did not pay attention to where the rope was and threw the ball and he exploded from my side and flew like a rocket after the ball. The rope, unfortunately, was tied to a tree in the direction I was throwing but was curled behind me. I was wearing shorts and as the rope started to be pulled away, it pulled up against both of my calves and abraded all of the skin from the backs of my legs away in a moment, and then the rope was pulled taught, deftly swiping both of my legs out from underneath me, dropping me backwards onto my head on a stone patio, splitting my scalp and spraying blood all over my white canvas outdoor furniture. The dog looked very proud for catching the ball when he loped up to me afterwards.
Cooking. Took a tray out of the oven and put in on the top. Turned to grab a spatula and caught the edge of the tray with the loose end of the oven glove.
As it slid off the top my dumb ass quickly grabbed for it with my ungloved hand, missed, and just pressed the searing hot tray into my stomach and thighs.
Two pies on the floor, that while I was whimpering in the cold shower upstairs, the dog ate.
I was making whipped cream with an electric hand mixer while talking to someone at the same time. While talking and looking at them, I wanted to turn off the machine, but as I didn’t look at it, I put my hands right into the whisk instead of the switch I was trying to reach. Out of pain and shock, instead of turning it off with the other hand, I moved the switch in the wrong direction to its maximum and broke my finger.
HEYEL NAW 😭, did your finger heal well afterwards?
Luckily, yes, my finger is in perfect condition again. But it took over a year to completely heal.
Glad to hear that!
Got my ponytail stuck in my armpit somehow, twisted my head rapidly to look at something and yanked on it. Not fun.
I was carrying a hoover downstairs and slipped. The hoover fell down the stairs faster than me and stopped at the bottom obviously. The wire had partially unspooled and the very British three prong plug was sitting on the ground, pointing straight towards the sky.
Guess where my arse landed once I had finished slipping down the carpeted stairs?
‘Honest Doc, that’s exactly how it got up there!’
