Not going to offer many details on the where or how, as I don’t intend to dox myself, but suffice it to say that I will continue touching butts for an extended period. I don’t like feeling aroused by the act. These people placed trust in me. Trust that I mean them no harm and that I am safe to be around. I can certainly be both while aroused, but I’d rather not have to deal with this.
I’d prefer not to dissociate through work, but I can’t find another way to contextualize my experiences in a way that doesn’t leave me frustrated until I get home.
One time I did see one patient that was exceptionally attractive so I just kinda shoved it down for a while. I did have a bizarre dream (don’t remember any of the details other than that it involved that patient and was bizarre). Then I had to clean their bathroom real fast when they had to move rooms and I no longer found them attractive. Problem solved. Dunno if that helps in your situation. Maybe look into more about how intimacy coordinators in the TV/Film industryhandle things?
Maybe look into more about how intimacy coordinators in the TV/Film industryhandle things?
No, they don’t clean bathrooms either :)
They actually learn and practice how to create intimacy and at the same time to set and respect proper boundaries. But that is a “together” thing. Doesn’t help OP here.
Oh no that was mostly unrelated and intentionally so. I don’t struggle with it because patients, being human beings, are generally pretty gross. It sounds like OP doesn’t have the grossness to fix the problem for them and that was the best alternative framework I could think of.
I do not, unfortunately. Some butts are gross while others are not. It’s a frustrating spectrum
Tagged you as “ass toucher” for next time
That’s “professional ass toucher” to you
this is some the cylinder must remain unharmed shit
I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome.
As a pro your career depends on your ability to be completely dispassionate in the non-work aspects of butt, you must classify them as “work butts” where the work butts may hold work-related and necessary information and be required, but they are fundamentally different from the fun “non-work” butts. You just have to turn those thoughts off. I’ve been disassociating in the human services field for a really long time so I know it is easier said than done, but your professional and personal life really do depend your ability to compartmentalize these things. Maybe think of them as slabs of meat.
I’m a massage therapist, and have used this approach for decades. People’s bodies are anatomy, and the person residing in that body needs to be cared for with respect and compassion. I learn their needs and concerns, and address their anatomy to best support their needs. I’m being paid to compartmentalize my mind as a professional, and separate out my personal thoughts or judgements.
When I’m not working, people in my personal life are no longer anatomy. They’re people I have relationships with, with different dynamics allowing for different responses.
I’m deeply envious of those, like yourself, who have successfully reframed their clients. How long did it take to do so? I recognize that people are vastly different, but an order of magnitude or two would help frame when it becomes a real issue.
Aren’t you going to get used to it after a few days, like to everything else in life?
I have certainly not gotten used to it after a few days
I know elsewhere you said you want a magic bullet, but you might consider this a multi-pronged, if not at least multi-step process.
I think that you can get used to it. But if you have too much concern about the whole thing that can paradoxically prevent that habituation from occurring. trust that you are acting appropriately. Do those other steps like masturbation before work. Do something to remain present, like engagino your senses with your environment. Noting the sounds you hear, the smells, or the things you can see.
Make it you versus thoughts instead of you versus butt. Or versus arousal. Call the thoughts in your head that come up that aren’t serving you
That sucks. Maybe find something else or somewhere else? Perhaps it is the gender of the butts involved? If your arousal is visible this might complicate things at work. It also opens you to risk.
It’s certainly not visible. Not unless I have a major wardrobe malfunction. And I’m looking at other options before I choose to change gears to that degree.
It might take more than a few days. I asked my brother about a similar thing - he was a cheerleader and part of that is practically groping butts. He just said after a while the act in that context got desensitized and wasn’t an issue, but it was awkward until then.
That is heartening and leaves me hopeful. I’m hoping butts turn a stale beige sooner rather than later
Maybe don’t hope that for just every butt, but butts that are work related.
My hobby has me touching a lot of butts. After a while, it’s not interesting anymore
Jerk of before work. Maybe not applicable to people with vaginas, but it’s quick and for me at least really makes a difference in how horny I get
I have made a point of being completely satisfied before the day begins, which has reduced the issue by an order of magnitude. Still lizard braining, unfortunately.
in my experience as a vagina haver, jilling off before work does in fact help keep you from getting distracted by the horny (though if it’s particularly bad it won’t completely eliminate the thoughts)
Eventually, you’ll become desensitized.
Every butt as boring as the next. They’ll lose meaning to you, like saying the same word over and over for 18 hours straight. You’ll only find them attractive when attached to the right person first.
Good luck!
As an asexual person, my flabber is so gasted reading through these comments. I truly have never even considered that any of this is a possibility.
Anyway, good luck I guess OP. Now I will proceed with my life with even more anxiety about having humans touch me.
That’s gotta feel like being a fish, unaware of the water around you.
Don’t worry it’s mostly harmless reactions. Like feeling hungry when you see someone with a bacon sandwich. You wouldn’t steal that person’s bacon. That person’s bacon is safe from you. But damn if you’re not hungry now.
Edit : some people would steal that bacon. But people who would actually do that don’t usually last long.
We aren’t really socialized to have uncomplicated unsexual fondness for butts, etc, so take comfort that most people would struggle in your position, and that socialization is something that can change with time in it right environment. As long as you cultivate the right social setting at work, you probably don’t need to make any big changes, since those will happen with time.
Alternatively, you could pivot to other butt touching career, but that’s a decision best made with your partner.
What matters to your patients isn’t your thoughts but your deeds. If you are acting professionally it doesn’t matter if you are having inappropriate (sexual) thoughts. You might have to channel this energy elsewhere and eventually it will be less stimulating as you get used to it.
That is my hope. It’s certainly been helpful to hear so many people saying variations of this. It feels immensely frustrating to deal with this alone, but recognizing this as a slow issue to grind through is helpful
Remember it’s our actions not our thoughts. There’s nothing even wrong about secret perving which are you not even doing
Is this a new activity to you? You will get used to it
Relatively. And that is my hope. Expediting it would be nice.
Think about preventing repetittive stress disorders.
Nothing shuts down the sinful thoughts* quite like OSHA regulations.
(*not actually sinful)
That would certainly help my posture, during. I’m using this one immediately. I just hope it doesn’t ripple elsewhere
Do you have OCD?
No, not in any meaningful way. Everyone has it in small expressions
Not everyone has OCD. It’s a psychiatric disorder.
Are you a proctologist with a midlife crisis?
As someone who values their privacy immensely, I can only answer in non-answers if someone asks for specifics on anything but my processing of the information.
I was just joking anyway sorry.
You’re totally fine, no harm done
