When I was fairly younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who told me that if she were to learn that I had sex with a man, especially bottoming but also topping (she didn’t use those terms, she used bad terms), then she would feel disgusted and betrayed and would never feel attracted to me again or see me as a man again.
I said to her that I was disappointed in her, that she had internalised homophobia and that she was a massive hypocrite. Her self proclaimed best male friend presented to the world as flamingly gay, and she was openly bi herself, not as in “I would totally fuck women cause I like the idea of it”, bus as in she had fucked women before and would do it again. Apparently she deserves to be fucked by a real man, which apparently bi men are not.
So…yeah, you can be a loudly proclaimed ally AND a member of the LGBTQ community yourself, and still be a disgusting homophobe right alongside the best of bigots.
I have a similar story to share.
When I was in my early 20s I briefly dated a girl who told me she was having feelings for another woman and was being curious, she eventually broke up with me in order to be with her, but we remained good friends after that.
Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship all even yelled some slurs at me.
AFAIK she’s married with a guy and has kids now
Wow, that’s some intense double standards there.
Maybe calling women lesbians instead of gay allows people to be homophobic while accepting lesbians. After all, the word was invented by men who thought women couldn’t be gay the way men can.
IME this is incredibly common.
I had a bi girlfriend who was also super uncomfortable with the idea of me being with another man.
I don’t know how common it is, but I’ve had several past girlfriends express internalised homophobia against gay men, bisexuals or lesbians, and that’s too damn high a number since as french leftist, I don’t harmonize with conservative women. When I was younger I was naive or dumb enough to think that we would both grow as people in the relationship and some of my values would rub up on them. Now that would an instant curtain call for me, you can grow up as person in your own time, I have better things to do.
Initial reaction: there’s no way that’s real
After reading the comments: what the fuck
Very strange you haven’t absorbed this concept yet. “Bi women are straight but bi men are gay” is one of the most common tropes in the larger culture’s conception of sexual identity.
I don’t mean to brag, but I have an astonishing lack of culture.
There is a weird bias against bisexual men in media. Someone I knew even once said she didn’t believe bisexual men existed, all men are either straight or gay. For me self identification is important. If someone tells me they’re straight but I believe they’re bisexual, I’m going to call them straight.
FAKE: anon thinks girls are real GAY: anon wants to fuck a twink
I’m in my mid thirties, and I’m a bi woman who tends to go for bi men. I was once chatting about one of my exes with my dad and same aged stepsister, when she expressed deep surprise that I would be willing to date a man who had dated a man. My dad agreed, which is par for the course, but I could not for the life of me get a believable answer from my stepsister as to why that would be a dealbreaker.
She had been part of the GSA in one of the most progressive towns in America and was at that time in first cohort of women to join a previously men-only fraternity at her college, so she definitely falls under the progressive umbrella.
I literally can’t think of a reason except for donating blood, but that wasn’t it.
I’ve seen so many cases of staunch progressive groups weaponize a guys sexuality as soon as they have a falling out with him. Its like these people never believed what they were saying. People are so spineless and have no morals.
i do wild shit to make the girls im dating lose attraction for me all the time. burping really loud constantly, saying the word “COCKS” when i sneeze, crying about wall-e, shitting with the door open. who cares?
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Fucking a twink is the manliness thing a man can do and if anyone wants to disagree with that I’ll fuck you too and I’m straight as fuck.
Twinks are feminine, so fucking a twink is also feminine and that’s gay. The manliest thing you can do is fuck the manliest guy you can find.
Coincidentally, that is also what you should do on your first day in prison. Or so they told me, I dunno
EDIT: Wait… was it beat OFF the manliest guy or beat UP? Hmmm… doesn’t matter. Everybody liked me after anyway.
Rape jokes (incarcerated or free it’s the same) getting upvoted… what a weird timeline.
Where’s the rape joke? I understand that most jokes involving prison and sex are rape jokes, but that one doesn’t seem to be. The writer gave handjobs, and everybody liked him after. Sounds like a fun, consensual time.
Do you really want me to spell it out? Okay.
Prison rape is never funny. It’s traumatic, violent, and life destroying.
Giving hand jobs to potential rapists in order to appease them in advance is neither consentual nor funny.
Sea-lioning replies justifying rape will be blocked.
Edit: @[email protected] I am so sorry this happened to you. I also understand dark humor can be a helpful relief. I hope you get the support you need.
What’s the fuck is ‘sea-lioning’?
“Sea-lioning” is a way of arguing in bad faith; specifically, asking for evidence or feigning ignorance every time the opposing party makes a claim, regardless of how trivial said claim is.
Nobody knows what BonkTheBonkTheAnnoyed thinks sea-lioning has to do with anything though.
good news, those red flags are getting out of your way.
better them gone than polluting your potential partner pool.
taking the post at plain value, it would be a lot cooler if less people were homophobic against bi men. i dont want all the assholes to stay away from me, i want them to be decent people.
yhea, agree 100%, but I only have the power to choose who I associate with, not to change bigots.
So just throw gay men under the bus? Because this whole thing is just homophobia.
Just ask a friend or family member for attention instead of doing this shit.
I love white people. Let’s see how long it takes to ban me from Lemmy
